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January 22, 2007


I am pro-choice because I have had to make that choice. I have had an abortion. I'm not proud to admit that, but I'm not ashamed either. I don't see it as a horrible secret I live with, but I don't see it as an amazing example of my autonomy. It just is.

One thing that really annoys me is when girls say stuff like, "Oh I'm pro-life for me, but pro-choice for other women". It makes no sense. It's one thing to say "I would never have an abortion, but I'm not trying to take away your right to have one", but that doesn't make you pro-life. To be pro-life, it means to be anti-choice. It means to force your choice on everyone else. If you know what your choice would be, but you respect other women's choices... that makes you pro-choice. Period. There is no half-and-half.

I don't know why women feel like they have to qualify it somehow. Why can't they just come right out and say, "yes, I'm pro-choice"? What is so scary about admitting that? Why are women so reluctant to acknowledge that they have an opinion and that they're okay with someone having a different opinion. Many pro-choice advocates do not agree with abortion morally, but they disagree more with the idea of the government putting restrictions on someone else's morals (especially a government that cannot relate to a women's right to choose because it is predominantly men). Being pro-choice doesn't mean you are pro-abortion. You can be pro-choice and still be pro-family, pro-pregnancy, pro-baby, pro-whatever. It is a choice. I honestly hope that more women can choose not to have an abortion, but I know that for many that's just not a viable choice.

I know many women who have said they would never have an abortion and then found themselves pregnant by accident... and made the same choice I made. I think it is very easy for a woman to say that she would never have an abortion, when she has never been in that situation. That doesn't mean that every woman who says that, doesn't actually mean it. It just means that no one can really know what it feels like until they've been there. You can't read it in a book or on a blog. You have to live it to really understand.

Having an abortion is not something anyone ever wants to do, but sometimes it is just what's right for that person, at that time. I'm not going to get into why I had an abortion, except that it was not the right choice for me to have that baby. It doesn't matter what my reasons were, because the only person who I need to convince of their validity is myself. And I'm already convinced. No one needs to agree with my choice; they just need to give me the right to make it.

Maybe this all sounds cold-hearted. I had an abortion, big deal. That's not really how I feel. It is a big deal. Or at least it was. It was the hardest choice I've ever had to make and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder what would've happened if I'd made a different one. But I'm convinced that if I had to go back, I would make that choice again. Regardless of what choice I did or didn't or would or wouldn't make... the point is that it's mine to make.

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