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January 14, 2007

Infatuation Nation

I am easily prone to infatuation. I fully admit it. Infatuation can be a problem for someone who doesn't recognize that that's what it is. One might mistake it for something more - even love. Luckily I do recognize my propensity for unrealistic obsessiveness.

A lot of the time when I meet a guy - doesn't matter who he is, a stranger, a friend's boyfriend, the father of one of my kid's classmates, a Jehova's witness at the door, anyone - I think about what it'd be like if he kissed me. Usually I'm not attracted to every random stranger, so that settles that, but if he's even just "sort of cute" in my eyes then I continue to think about kissing him.

Probably my favorite thing to do with a guy (well one of my favorite things) is kiss. It's very "high school", but I love to make out. If a guy isn't a good kisser (which I do realize is completely subjective) that totally puts him out of my head for good. Sometimes you can detect enough potential that would merit further inspection and possible training, but if a kiss is just bad there's no reason to try it again. If the kiss is good, uh oh! Infatuation time.

Whenever a new guy sparks my interest I think about kissing him a lot. Once I've kissed him (and it was good) I think about it constantly. I think about kissing him more; I think about sleeping with him; I think about what it'd be like to date him; to be his girlfriend; to be his wife (which is odd, because I don't desire to be anyone's wife). If I didn't know better, I'd think I really liked the guy and that there was something special between us. Luckily I do know better. I happen to be very familiar with the symptoms of my infatuation. At any given moment, I'm probably unable to stop thinking about a guy who is just not right for me. Logically I know I don't want more from him (other than another makeout session) but infatuation doesn't listen to logic.

Right now I have a very cute, very nice, but very wrong-for-me guy floating around my brain and it's driving me crazy. There are so many reasons (that I won't even bother listing) why I should never see him again, but I can't stop thinking about... well... seeing him again.

I'm usually comfortable with my infatuation, knowing that it will pass when the next guy appears.

I guess it's nice to have a hobby.

1 comment:

Infarsight said...

I appreciate that you recognize infatuation and are not afraid of enjoying it since you understand its limits.

I'm a bit of a connoisseur of the various flavors of infatuation. I love your description of first-kiss-obsession.

I personally tend to obsess over facial features and expressions. It's a bit of a trick to study the facial expressions of a total stranger without getting caught.