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January 26, 2007

love kids, but not for me

So like the rest of the socially inept world, we're on myspace (I know).

There's something on myspace that has always made me wonder... the "love kids, but not for me" option.

I think "love kids, but not for me" is misleading. What does it really mean?

Does it mean "I love kids, but I don't have any"?

Or "I love kids, but I don't want any"?

Or "I love kids in theory but want nothing to do with them in reality"?

Or "I love kids, but I hope you don't have any"?

Or "I don't have kids, but I'm okay if you have kids"?

Or "I don't have kids or like kids, but I'm okay with the fact that kids do exist on our planet"?

Or "I don't have kids, don't want kids, don't like kids, but I don't want people to think I'm a horrible monster who hates children and kicks puppies"?
"No wire hangers!"

I always wondered about that one.

So far, the general consensus I've heard from my non-scientific "research" on the subject is that it is often interpreted as "I love kids, but I dont want any".

However, if that is indeed the case... then what is the purpose of the "I don't want kids" option? Is the "I don't want kids" choice supposed to imply, "I hate kids"?

Please advise.


Anonymous said...

"Love kids but not for me" has a pretty creepy feel to it. Like, "I'd like to fondle your children but not actually have a family of my own because I am sort of a sick and twisted perv." But if you take it in a nice way, as "I love my nieces and nephews and that's as far as it goes", then I guess "I don't want kids" means something like "I will drown anyone under the age of 18 who comes within 5 feet of me."

And we really do require this sort of clarity. After all, if we cannot be completely honest and vulnerable on Myspace, where then? WHERE? I ask!


I don't know... maybe on Facebook?

(For the record, we will never have an ESC Facebook account. We're just way too old for that).

Anonymous said...

It means... "I don't want the responsibility of children, but if you have some I will still sleep with you. I'll even be nice to them to impress you, but I will never marry you."


Meeky P. said...

Since I have the "I don't want kids" choice selected on my page of shame (myspace), I assume that it means that I hate kids, puppies and fluffy bunnies. Also, what Raz said.

I do have 3 nieces and I love 1 out of the 3. The other two I only tolerate when I want my brother to do something for me.

Anonymous said...

For me it means I love kids but I don't want any of my own.

And you know what else?
For some people if people don't want kids, they take that to mean that you must HATE kids. Some people DO hate kids but it doesn't mean they want to hurt them!

There are a myriad of reasons why people do - or don't - want to have children. And sometimes some of these reasons are really personal but still people sometimes think you are a scary freak just cos you don't want kids!

Me I work with kids and I love them but I love to give them back at the end of the day even more.

I love kids but I don't want to be a parent.
I love that you have kids and I am happy for you but people have different life paths, experiences, interests, preferences. I respect yours and I hope you respect mine.
I love kids but I can't handle being on call 24 7.
doesn't mean I want to fondle kids or sleep only with those who have kids.
In fact the first one is a sick thing to say.

No it DOESN'T mean "I will drown anyone under the age of 18 who comes within 5 feet of me."
Sometimes parents hurt their own kids so it's not just people who don't have kids that can hurt kids!
Besides, it's perfectly possible to dislike something or someone without wanting or needing to kill them! And yes I really do love kids but it's really not for me.
Changing diapers is not for me, raising teenagers is not for me esp. in today's society.
Just as being a lawyer or teacher or doctor is not right for everyone so being a parent is not right for everyone, not what everyone wants. We don't all want the same stuff and that's OK. It doesn't mean we can't respect the choices and decisions of those who want different things from us - i.e. kids or no kids!

Anonymous said...

And lots of us who don't want kids are happily married.
It DOESN'T neccessarily mean we can't commit! It just means we can't - or won't - commit to parenthood. We choose to commit to a spouse for life, just not to being a parent for life. Nothing against anyone who chooses differently.