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February 13, 2007

Be Our Valentine

Celebrate Valentine's Day the Evil Slutopia way.

  • Support V-Day by attending a benefit performance of The Vagina Monologues. Join a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and have fun seeing who gets uncomfortable when they ask what your Valentines plans are and your answer includes the word vagina. To find an event near you: V-Day Events

  • Head to a Babeland store in Seattle, Los Angeles, or New York for one of their Valentines workshops. Attend a single's party with free alcohol and vibrators, explore bondage, or practice your blowjob techniques on a willing banana.

  • And speaking of sex and fruit... NYC burlesque troupe The Peach Tartes is putting on a very juicy Valentine's show. Info (and more importantly, pictures) here. Afterwards, there's always Diamanda Galas's Valentine's Day Massacre.

  • Check out Altoids store events in New York, Chicago, and Miami to promote their new chocolate dipped mints. Altoids: Curiously Slutty
"Sick of all the Valentine's Day hype? Unattached and glad about it? In the week leading up to Valentine's Day, Altoids invites the lovesick, lovelorn and Cupid-wary of New York, Chicago, and Miami to a sanctuary from all the romantic overtures."

  • If you're Anti-Valentine's, you know it, and you really wanna show it, head over to CafePress to stock up on Anti-Valentine's merchandise. We especially enjoy the "V is for Vodka" and "Be My Fuck Buddy" collections.

  • Go see the Museum of Sex's new exhibitition, Kink: Geography of the Erotic Imagination. Kink opens February 8th, and the museum will be open late on Valentine's Day.

  • Buy us something from here. Because you love us.

  • Investigate mating rituals by attending Woo at the Zoo at the San Francisco Zoo. Enjoy champagne and chocolate covered strawberries while you learn about giraffe foreplay. If you're into that sort of thing.

  • Valentine's Day is obviously a popular day for engagements and weddings. So it's also a good day to keep in mind that there are plenty of people out there who can't get married to the men and women that they love, just because they happen to be gay. Shake things up by attending or supporting one of the marriage equality actions that will take place all across the country this week.

  • Anyone in the Indianapolis area can attend an anti-valentine's dinner at L'Explorateur. The "Seven Deadly Course" menu is inspired by a recent Top Chef challenge. And in the spirit of Valentine's Day, we'd be willing to give Top Chef runner-up Marcel Vigneron some tutorials on lust. (Note: The preceding statement may not reflect the views and opinions of the entire Evil Slut Clique. We all have weird taste in guys, but not always the same weird taste.)

  • Seattle sluts can enjoy some good old-fashioned PDA by participating in a Valentine's Day mass makeout. If the public petting floats your boat, mass makeout events are held on a monthly basis.

  • Go get tested. Because knowing for sure that you're chlamydia free is a better Valentine's gift than anything Hallmark makes. But don't feel bad if your test comes back positive: V.D. is for everybody.

  • Remember that February is Black History Month, so don't pass up any opportunities to have sex with cute black guys or girls. (Note: This advice applies equally to people of all races. Just be careful, because once you go black...well, you know.)

  • Speaking of 'safe sex', don't forget that Valentine's week is also National Condom Week. Have lots and lots of protected sex.
Above all, remember that Valentine's Day doesn't really matter. Single or taken, love it or hate it, it should be something that you can have fun with or it should be nothing to you at all. However you choose to celebrate, we hope your day is as evil and slutty as you want it to be.


Laura Jacquez said...

I love your blog! Rock on evil slutopia~!

kingofalldrunks said...

i'm not going to lie to you. not at this point in our relationship, anyway--i've been whoring out 'unofficial half price candy day' all over the internet. i feel dirty. dirtier than normal. the kind of dirty that won't come clean.