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April 25, 2007

Got MILF?

I am a self-proclaimed MILF. For anyone out there who is socially retarded, a MILF is a “Mom I’d Like to Fuck” or more generally, a hot mom. I know you must think that it is somewhat conceited (okay it is very conceited) to call myself hot, but that is not what I’m doing. I’m not hotter than your average hot girl, not by far. What I am, is (maybe) hotter than your average mom. I’m a good ten years younger (and often ten pounds thinner) than the average mom in my local PTA. This isn’t to say that they are all old, fat, ugly ladies, but simply that I am the "young, hot one". I’m not necessarily hotter than your average MILF, but I do qualify.

I am a self-proclaimed MILF, but so far this claim has not been refuted.

More than just being “hot”, what makes me a real MILF is that people want to fuck me. Now there is a big difference between being hot and being fuckable. That’s not to say that they’re mutually exclusive, but simply that they are not necessarily synonymous.

I love sex. I’m not saying I’m a nympho or freak or anything, just that I enjoy sex. Most of you are thinking, “well doesn’t everyone enjoy sex?” No. Sadly enough not everyone enjoys sex. Many women do not like it (or want it) at all and while I find that to be both puzzling and tragic, it is a fact of life. I love sex. Not just that I am willing to have it, but I want it, I seek it out, and I enjoy the hell out of it. And that is what makes me so fuckable (and in turn, so “hot” I suppose). I am a mom that you would likely want to fuck, whether you were into MILFs or not.

In case it hasn’t already been assumed, I am also a single mom. I have never been married; I have a “baby daddy”. It’s hard being single and a mom, especially when you love sex. I don’t get to have it quite as often as I’d like. I don't always have the time necessary to devote to good sex.

A lot of men are scared to date mothers. I am not looking for a “father figure” for my daughter, but a lot of guys refuse to believe that and therefore won’t consider dating me. Other guys assume that since I had a child once, that I am against abortion (for the record, I’m pro-choice) and therefore won’t consider fucking me. Or even worse, they assume that I am looking to rope them into marriage/child support by getting pregnant again. This is so far from the truth. Sometimes, I even use three forms of birth control at one time! I have heard horror stories about evil, manipulative women and they have given all single mothers a bad name.

Even when I can find men that aren’t afraid of the mom thing, there are still problems. I am a single mom, I work, I volunteer, I write, I do lots of stuff! It’s not always easy to juggle all that and still find time for a social life at all, let alone time to date and/or fuck. Babysitters are expensive and not always available. It's not easy being a single mom if you still want to go out and drink and fuck and basically have a life (without neglecting your child or going on welfare). I'm just trying to figure things out for myself, like everyone else is and I make mistakes along the way.


Today I read an article in New York magazine about MILFs that kinda pissed me off. It was written by Em and Lo, neither of whom have children. I've always rather liked Em and Lo; in fact, we have been compared to them on more than one occasion. (Not by anyone that matters, but we did appreciate the comparison). So imagine my joy when I saw they had written an article entitled "Of MILF and Men". Then imagine my disappointment when I read it.

Just a few key lines that irked me:

The MILF is Stacy's Mom. She's the lady in the Strippercize class. She dresses like a Jersey mob wife, her eye titled into a perpetual wink...

...Maybe it's a looks thing, given that women can -- with the aid of Pilates and a discreet tuck -- turn back time to a sometimes disturbing degree...

...There's the good MILF: the one who is basically just a happy-go-lucky flirt with a lot of sexual confidence. She's the aforementioned Stacy's Mom, the subject of the Fountains of Wayne anthem of MILFhood -- is it her fault that her daughter's boyfriend has a crush? She's just got it going on! Then there are the MILFs who edge over into the MILF sister-category: the cougar. The punitive term implies an older woman as predator, a showy, sharp-clawed figure who turns the MILF hunter into the hunted. Think of it as a grown-up variant of the Girls Gone Wild phenomenon, except that while we may forgive an 18-year-old her lack of decorum -- she was drunk, Joe Francis is a manipulating jackhole, she wanted that baseball hat real bad -- her mom is supposed to know better...


...in the end we're suckers for the MILF: She may be glossy, she may be goofy, yet we can't help but cheer for her.

Read the entire article here

The article seems to focus on older women who sleep with men in their twenties (not that there's anything wrong with that - if you can swing it, more power to ya). Their stereotypical image of the MILF is that of Stifler's mom from the American Pie movies or Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate, but that's not the truth.

MILFs can be all ages and all types (we don't all look like "Jersey mob wives" -- a term which is itself another overused stereotype -- or have the need for a "discreet tuck"). I'm a single mother under thirty, who has mostly dated men my age or older (although, yeah there are always exceptions, hee). I'm a MILF because men want to fuck me. That's all. It has no bearing on my behavior or my state of mind. The term doesn't necessarily indicate any intention on my part to "stay young" or "stay sexy" despite motherhood. Who decided that the two were mutually exclusive in the first place?

There's something disarming about an archetype that lets the ladies take back the negligee, an image that suggests that motherhood is more than the death of desirability and the birth of bad haircuts.
Describing the idea that motherhood isn't the death of desirability as "disarming" is a sexist, outdated opinion in the first place.

I'm sure Em and Lo think they're embracing the idea of mothers who maintain their sexiness (even though they simultaneously applaud them and accuse them of giving in to objectification and a "self-destructive form of female-chauvinist piggery"). What they're really doing is perpetuating a myth about mothers: they're either old and unsexy; or they're "afraid of seeming past their prime" and therefore act/look ridiculous to avoid this.

How bout this: Mothers are people, not caricatures. Some people are sexy, some aren't. Period. If you're a mom and people want to fuck you -- you're a MILF. That's all it takes. It's a compliment, not a character flaw.




The hilarious Jennifer Coolidge as one of our generation's
most famous fictitious MILFs, "Stifler's Mom" (American Pie 2)


5 comments:

Iscah said...

First of all? Do MILFs really matter? Men want to fuck women. Period. No matter if she has children, how much she weighs, how attractive she is in society's eyes, there's a man out there that wants to give it to her. A lot of mothers were not considered hot prior to having children. A person who is considered a MILF, most likely was. And yes, yes, we know people want to fuck you. Obviously that’s how you became a mother.

Even those old, ugly women with the “World’s Greatest Mom” tee-shirts have old, ugly boyfriends and husbands at home that want to fuck them. If you showed a picture of one of these women to random men, I highly doubt they would label her a MILF. It is about being hot.

Now you can call yourself hot, but you cannot refer to yourself as a MILF, "Hi, I'm a mother I'd like to fuck."

To that I would respond, "Well go fuck yourself then."

If you are a single mom and not looking for a “father figure” for your child, you are simply looking for a great lay. (Nothing wrong with that I might add) Any man you date seriously will in some way be a father figure or will have an impact on a child’s life, regardless of the fact that the child may know it’s own father already. And can you honestly blame any single person for not wanting to date someone with kids already? To someone without children yet, it may seem to be a lot of responsibility, baggage and drama sometimes.

Anonymous said...

After reading this great blog, I would easily want to ***k you.

THE EVIL SLUT CLIQUE said...

Re: Iscah
We never said there was anything wrong with men not wanting to date women with children. Just that there are some stereotypical reasons that don't always apply (not the only reasons, just the ones that are assumptions).

As for the other issue, there is something between "serious dating" and "looking for a lay". Haven't you ever heard of casual dating? More than just sex, but the kids aren't an issue.

Also, when we said "father figure" we meant daddy-replacement. I'm not looking for someone to be a substitute father (emotionally or financially). Yeah obviously someone I seriously date will have an impact and a relationship... but they are not expected to be New Daddy.

Lilith said...

So I guess the term for oneself is "MYLF" (Mom you'd like to fuck)? Hahaha... Yeah but seriously, the point of this entry wasn't about "hey people want to fuck me, I'm a milf!"

The point was that it's not right to call sexy moms or moms-who-have-sex a new breed or caricature. Moms are people and always have been. It's stupid that all of a sudden society says it's "cool" for moms to be desirable. Who ever said they couldn't be in the first place?

THE EVIL SLUT CLIQUE said...

From a recent NY mag interview with Tori Amos:

New York's sex columnists recently wrote that a MILF is “at once repulsive and appealing.” You sing about being a MILF on your new single. What’s your take on the phrase?
Well, if you’re a mother, there’s nothing repulsive about it. If you are a nurturing mother, and a good one, you can go to play groups, sit on the floor and play all the games, and have tea with the other mothers, but wouldn’t you like to think that’s not all there is? That you haven’t hung up your high heels without knowing how to walk in them? I’m really quite happy to say that in my early 40s, I wake up feeling sexy, and I can’t say I felt that way in my late 20s.

Are you reclaiming the word MILF?
I don’t think it’s that. I wouldn’t do a thesis on it, but I think if young boys have no problem using it, why can’t the women who are our age use it?