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December 6, 2007

The Evil Slutopia Reading List

We've already given you a glimpse at our holiday wish list for this year, but you might have noticed we didn't have a single book on there. That's because evil sluts don't read books. Just kidding. It's because we've put together an Evil Slutopia Reading List for your holiday reading pleasure.

Truthfully, we originally planned this as a Summer Reading List, but well, we procrastinated a little. But we also felt that the holiday season is a great time to pick out new books and Winter Break is a great time to catch up on evil slutty reading.

Remember being in school and getting summer reading lists right before the end of the year, full of "quality" books to keep your brain from going totally to mush over the summer? Or in college, getting your syllabus on the first day of class with the list of books and scholarly articles that would torture you over the course of a semester? Yeah, this list is nothing like that.

The list you're about to read is part Holiday Wish List and part Recommended Reading List. Any evil slut would be happy to find one of these books under her tree or in her stocking. So give the gift of knowledge. Evil... slutty... knowledge.



1. My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler
We'd have to recommend any "memoir" full of excessive drinking and casual sex, but the best part about this book is that it's actually funny and a great read. (Also, while you're at it, check out Chelsea's other stuff including her hilarious stand-up and new TV show on E!)

2. Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a SmartMouth Goddess by Susan Jane Gilman
Realistic, down-to-earth, funny advice about life, work and relationships. And she makes fun of Cosmo. And the chapters have titles like "Niceness: Barf", "Wisdom from Dickville" and "Onward, Vixen Soldiers!"

3. Any of the Sweet Potato Queens books by Jill Conner Browne

These books are filled with hilarious advice and stories from these self-proclaimed "fallen Southern belles" and "female drag queens". Read any one of them. Nah, read all of them. Basically, these ladies are all about friendship, laughing a lot, telling great stories, eating junk food (their four food groups are sweet, salty, fried, and au gratin), dressing up in crazy costumes, and getting into as much trouble as possible. We love and adore them.


4. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra (Illustrated) by Al Link & Pala Copeland
Truthfully, you can read any modern version of the Kama Sutra and get basically the same info, but we just liked the title of this particular one. It's supercharged... for idiots. (Kind of like the ESC's sex lives as well).

5. Cunt: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio
Every woman should read this book at some point in her life. Let us reclaim the word "cunt". It's time.

6. [Edited] This book was removed from the list due to our new knowledge that the author encouraged harassment and breaches of privacy on her online message forum.

7. The Hookup Handbook: A Single Girl's Guide to Living It Up by Andrea Lavinthal and Jessica Rozler

The 20-something authors define hookup as "anything from making out to doing the nasty ... most people say it's somewhere in the middle". This is a fun look at hooking up, including hot spots and fun lingo. They cover it all--from older men, younger men, friends, and coworkers to "The Himbo", "The Joey Buttafuoco", and "The Snuffleupagus". If you've ever been in a "nonrelationship relationship" (so basically all of you), this is a really fun read.


8. My First Five Husbands... And the Ones Who Got Away by Rue McClanahan

The members of the ESC can only hope that when we get old, we'll be as funny and fabulous (and still slutty) as the Golden Girls. My First Five Husbands is Rue McClanahan's memoir -- with five husbands and even more conquests, Blanche Deveraux had nothing on her.

9. Out of Sync by Lance Bass
We've already written about how Lance Bass is one of our favorite power gays and so much cooler than Tyra Banks.

10. Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti
Any book that can create a huge controversy just from its cover photo is at least worth a look. When that book is about feminism (and written by one of the founders of the popular site Feministing.com) and that cover photo is of a young woman's bare stomach, the evil sluts are definitely interested in seeing what all the fuss is about.

11. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max

12.
The Internet Escort's Handbook Book 1: The Foundation by Amanda Brooks
A little something your male friends will also enjoy. No one can put it better than Tucker Max himself, so... we'll just let him tell you:

"My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world."

13. How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter to the Greatest Teen Magazine of All Time by Kara Jesella and Marisa Meltzer
Written by a former escort, this book is "an open, honest look at what it's like to be a successful independent escort in the interactive age".



This book pays homge to the late, great teen magazine Sassy and tells the inside story of its rise (with founding editor Jane Pratt) and fall. This magazine was a huge part of our teen years and its "unique fusion of feminism and femininity" probably had more influence on us as women and writers than we even realize.




We're sure this is just the first of many Evil Slutopia book lists, so of course we'd love to hear what you're all reading these days. We need something to hold us over while we wait for Did I Mention That I Can Still Fit Into My Bikini From The Cover Of Sports Illustrated?: The Tyra Banks Story to come out.

3 comments:

RuthEllis said...

I'm reading...'Whores For Elaine', 'Femalia', 'Cunt', and 'The Cunt Coloring Book'.

Reading One Page At A Time,

Adam said...

If I read just one of these books, I think I'll be a more complete person.

May said...

Every woman should read this book at some point in her life. re: Cunt... I so completely agree. I made a promise to myself that I'd read it once a year after I read it last year. I'm running out of time!