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September 14, 2007

A Shot At Boredom

There was Flavor of Love, then I Love New York, then Charm School. There's Bret Michaels and his many turn ons, and Scott Baio and his many hangups. Team Lauren or Team Heidi? The Man Band. Mystery and his band of merry men...I mean, his posse of super-masculine straight guys. (I'm sorry. It takes a real man to put on a stovepipe hat and aviator goggles without smudging his eyeliner.) And don't even get us started on The Two Coreys.

The point is, we think they've finally gone too far. Last week, MTV announced plans for a new reality dating show starring "myspace celebrity" Tila Tequila. (There aren't enough quotation marks in the world to qualify the phrase "myspace celebrity"). The show will be called A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila and will feature 32 contestants competing for Ms. Tequila's affection. According to MTV, “Every episode will culminate in a dramatic ceremony unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.”

In a shockingly shocking twist, 16 of the suitors will be straight men and the other 16 will be lesbians. Apparently Tila is the only bisexual in the bunch, because we can't have the contestants hooking up with each other rather than her...unless they happen to be two lesbians getting together, because we know that's always wholesome fun for the whole family.

I guess all of this is supposed to be edgy, but it just comes off more like Those Drunk Girls At The Bar Who Make Out With Each Other To Get More Attention From Men: The TV Show. We're not saying that none of us have ever been that girl, but do we need another reality show about it? We already have The Real World. And really, after you've watched Lacey and Sam dig through a dumpster full of garbage to find Bret's lucky guitar pick, seen Scott Baio's aging guido friend mud wrestle a bunch of girls in his underwear, and witnessed Flavor Flav taking a bubble bath with Brigitte Nielson, is anything really edgy anymore?

Maybe it's just us. Maybe we're just burned out after our summer of Celebreality, and we need to take a break and write more about topics that don't involve crazy hats, blondes with fake boobs, or zebra print speedos.

Oh, who are we kidding? Next season, when Produce Section of Love with Carrot Top is on right before Britney Spears is 25...and a Trainwreck, we're so there. Sarcastic text message commentary won't write itself. You're welcome.


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