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November 21, 2007

ESC Travel Tales

Thanksgiving Eve is famous for two things: It is the biggest evening of binge drinking done by college kids who are home for the holiday and it is the biggest travel day of the year. We've already bitched about the "home from college crowd" last year, so this year we will share with you a quick glimpse into some of our favorite (and worst) traveling stories.

Our Top 10 Totally True Travel-Related Quotes

"Did I mention that I can't drive you to Orlando anymore?"

"But we need to get to Orlando for our return flight home."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out."


"How are we supposed to find someone we've never seen before in Penn Station during rush hour?"

"She said she'd be wearing red pants."

"Oh, okay... hey look, over there! Red pants, red pants!"

"That's a guy."

"Oh, right. Sorry. I got excited."

"I know we just met him tonight... and we're really drunk... and we're in a strange city... but I'm sure it's totally safe to let him drive us home. We'll just...take a picture of his license plate! You know, in case he kills and murders us."

"But if he kills and murders us, who is going to bring the camera to the police?"


"You can't drive us to the wedding. Seriously, I'm sure we can find another way to get to the church. We'll take a car service if we have to."

"Why can't I drive you? It's no big deal."

"Uh, because you're the groom. You probably have other things to do."


“I just paid a $10 cover charge so that I can drink a BudLite, that came from a can, in a plastic cup, that I 'paid for' with a red ticket, at a club, in a mall, where bad music is playing so loudly that I can’t even hear the lame pickup line about shoes that this ugly guy just gave me.”

"Great vacation so far, huh?"

"At least it's 'ladies night'. Got any more red tickets?"


"Um, no. We're not letting her leave with you. It's her first time in NYC and we just met you yesterday."

"But I wanted to show her Times Square."

"Well, why didn't you just say so? In that case, please take her."


"Yeah, he just came in and said 'It's gonna be a long weekend.'"

"I hope you guys don’t get annoyed by us staying here."

"Don’t worry, I have loud and obnoxious friends too."

"Gee, thanks."


"I can't believe we're stuck here for two hours."

"Well, who knew this was the one and only train that switches at a different station?"

"Maybe if Miss Big Mouth hadn't been talking so damn much we would have heard the announcement. This is totally her fault, and she'll be home in bed before we even get out of here."

"We have time to kill, let's call her up and tell her that."


"It wouldn't be that weird to take the hotel courtesy shuttle to the casino, right?"

"No, weird would be if we took it to that gay bar down the street."

"That's not a gay bar."

"It's called The Bull Pen."

"Okay, maybe it is."


"This isn't the Greyhound station. She dropped us off at the wrong bus station! Does she think we can take a local city bus all the way to the other side of the state?"

"Consider the source here. We're lucky she dropped us off anywhere."

"Can anyone tell me... how we ended up on a Greyhound bus...
in the middle of Florida... this damn early in the morning?"

Honorable Mention:
"You were impossible to please. Even my car wasn't cool enough for you."

(Of course that wasn't true. And after that vacation we learned that it wasn't her car that wasn't cool enough for us. But we're sure all of our wonderful readers are cool enough, so if you'd like us to come and visit you, just send us plane tickets).

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