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January 20, 2008


Here they are... the long awaited results of the first ever Evil Slutopia Contest! We bet you almost forgot all about it didn't you. Sorry it took us so long... we had a lot of trouble choosing our favorites out of all the great submissions. (And we also had a lot of trouble concentrating, what with our constant hangovers.)

Just to recap:

The "Dare the ESC" Contest

Just what it says: Dare the ESC.

Dare us to do something - anything - and if you win, we promise to do it and share the experience with the world. You can suggest anything you'd like to see us do/write about/take pictures of/make fun of/etc. in the upcoming year. This is your chance to have an effect on what the Evil Slut Clique does (and in turn, blogs about). Make your mark on Evil Slutopia! And if we like your idea the best, we'll send you a little something special to say thanks.

And so here are the winners...

First Place goes to Bill:
Obtain an interview with a celebrity evil slut. Over email even. Monica Lewinsky, Madonna, Lance Bass, etc.
We have no idea who we are going to find (or exactly how we'll do it), but our top priority for 2008 is to find as many awesome celebrity evil sluts as possible to interview for the blog.

If any of our readers happen to know celebrities (or happen to be celebrities) - help an evil slut out would ya?

Second Place also goes to Bill:

Yes, that's the same Bill as our first place winner. We don't care if you think it's unfair, he entered a ton of times and all the entries were kinda awesome. These two were our favorites. Maybe someday we'll do some of his other suggestions too, but for now let's start with these.
Get a bar or bartender to name a shot after Evil Slutopia. I want to be able to walk into a bar and order an Evil Slut, or a Jezebel, or a Lilith, or an ESC, or something, and actually get a shot without having to give an explanation. Having it just be the bartender is fine, as long as I know when to go and who to ask. And preferably a shot that won't make me gag (just wouldn't be right for an evil slut, y'know?).

Third Place goes to Mrs. Chiquita von Lederhosen:
Next time you have ladies' night, work the word "meow" into your conversation and see how many times you can use it on one person, and whether or not the other person catches on.
We like this one a lot, but we think we'd like to extend it. Instead of just "meow", we'll use a different word each time. Please feel free to write in and give word suggestions. When we do it, we'll let you know (and give you credit for your word choice) and of course... let you know the reactions we got. The more random the better.

Honorable Mention goes to Steve:
I dare you to prepare a six to eight minute speech on a ridiculous or fraudulent topic. Present it to an unsuspecting group, such as attendees at a convention. Do so with a straight face. Here are some ideas:

Global Warming: Could Ozone Pirates Be The Culprit?
Ride Out The Housing Crisis By Living In A Castle
How To Tell If Your New Boss Is A Giant Coffee Lid
A Junior Executive's Guide To Not Being A Complete Fucking Douchebag
Three Losing Investment Strategies
We chose this entry just based on his examples alone. Ozone pirates? Hilarious. Again, we are happy to accept suggestions for other speech topics. And if you happen to be running any upcoming conventions or seminars, let us know! We'd be happy to crash it!

We'd love to hear your feedback on the entries we chose, but we don't want to hear "that sucks, mine was better!" because that's just being a sore loser. There are a lot of other entries that we liked a lot and will definitely be doing in the future. When that time comes we will absolutely give you credit for your suggestions on the blog, even though you didn't make the top 4 entries. Hopefully our winners will also write in after they receive their very small and meaningless prizes (TBA).

Thanks to everyone who entered and thanks for reading! Stay tuned for the (hopefully) hilarious blog entries that this contest inspires.

1 comment:

May said...

OMG, the third one is definitely my favorite, what with the complete randomness and hilarity :)