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February 13, 2008

V-Whatever

So looking for something a little different to do this Valentine's Day? If you're like me, you're going to ignore Valentine's day altogether... but if you want to celebrate it in an evil slutty way, here are some ideas:

If you're in NYC tonight (Valentine's Eve) go over to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre on West 26th Street and check out "Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me" Live, an hour-long comedy show on the subject of failed relationships (and the shit people endure to make them work). The show is based on the book of the same name, an anthology edited by Ben Karlin (The Daily Show) and will feature a blend of read and performed pieces from the book, stand-up comedy, live music, special guests and other material on the theme of relationships gone bad.



Aside from the fact that I have a secret comedy crush on David Wain (The State, Ten, Wet Hot American Summer, etc.) we also have it on good authority that Morningwood will be performing one of their new songs. The show starts at 7:30 PM and is $5.


If you're still feeling rejected tomorrow night, go back to UCB for "The Rejection Show’s Valentine’s Day Heartbreak Haven", an evening of their best breakup, heartbreak and love related performances from shows past ---blending into and evening of love song karaoke, live music, DJ, free drinks and partying.

For those of you on the West Coast, the UCB's Los Angeles theatre has an awesome Valentine's Day line up tomorrow as well: At 8:00 pm - Worst Laid Plans presents "Worst Laid Man" one-night-only Valentine's Day edition. 9:30 pm - "Penthouse's Bob's Guccione's Valentine's Day Spoogetacular". Take a perverted stroll down lover's lane with the founder of Penthouse Magazine, Bo Guccione (Hal Rudnick) while the UCB performers address love, sex, relationships, boners, boobies, and Valentine's Day. 11:00 pm - "Morning Laughter Pill" - A one-time-only improvised show puts a bed on stage and shows you what people are really like during the awkward morning after their night of passion.


If you want to need to stock up on "Valentine's Supplies" why not throw a For Your Pleasure Party. Parties are free to host and as the hostess you receive tons of free goodies.


If you want to buy that special person in your life some jewelry, but don't want the same ugly heart and/or "squiggle" that all the diamond retailers are pushing on you... check out LeviticusJewelry.com for some great gifts like these:



If you're in Minneapolis you can see Harsh Reality, Avenpitch, Chris Dorn, Alicia Leafgreen, Lary Ravenwood and more at an Anti-Valentine's Day Party at Statiu's (University and Lowery) in Minneapolis.




Everyone's favorite Rock of Love hottie, Heather Chadwell will be in Boston this Valentine's week... At Americana Pop Tattoo from 6 to 9 and then Felt Club Boston's Rock of Love Party to finish up the night.







There's also a Valentine's art event and performance happening in Soho Thursday night at the Jonathan Shorr Gallery (109 Crosby Street at Prince) from 6-10 pm.

The Guerrilla Girls are on tour! There will be two events (tonight and tomorrow) at University of Nevada - Las Vegas.


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If you want to send a card to a pop culture junkie, check out Brandon Bird's SVU Valentines (and other awesome stuff).

Still bummed over your last breakup? Shred a picture of your ex at the door at Peppers in Indianapolis this Valentine's Day and you can enjoy drink specials and dancing all night.


Want to give a gift to your favorite female friend? Give her some "sexy comfy" everyday wear from Chickyz.






There's a new play called V-Love in the works in New York. Think of it as an "eVULVAlution" from perennial V-Day favorite The Vagina Monologues. Some of the profits from the production will go to SaySo!, the Sexual Assault Yearly Speakout sponsored by the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault. Performances start in March, so check them out on myspace for more info. Because if awesomely creative women keep using theater as a medium to talk about women's lives and experiences, it won't be long before the Tony Awards will have to add a category for Best Vagina-Related Musical or Play. And that can only be a good thing for their ratings.




Code Pink has organized a Valentine's Day Kiss-In to take place at military recruitment centers as part of their counter recruitment campaign. So if you're into 'make love, not war', you might want to give PDA for peace a try too. They have an event scheduled in Washington D.C. tomorrow (where they will also be making the rounds of Congress distributing 'broken hearts'), but they also have info and instructions on their site for how to organize kiss-in events across the country.



Diamanda Galas will perform her annual Valentine's Day Massacre at The Knitting Factory in NYC tomorrow night.
Avant-garde vocalist and virtuoso pianist Diamanda Galás returns to The Knitting Factory to perform her annual and critically acclaimed Valentine’s Day Massacre, before the worldwide release of her much anticipated compilation, Guilty Guilty Guilty (MUTE UK, March 31, 2008). With this spellbinding night of tragic and homicidal love songs, the dark queen of extended techniques turns standards from jazz, blues and rembetika into her own musical genre. The evening features favorite covers and longtime hits, including “Time (Interlude)” sung by Timi Yuro, Tracy Nelson’s “Down So Low”, “Long Black Veil” made popular by Johnny Cash, Ralph Stanley’s reaper song, “O Death”, John Lee Hooker’s “Burning Hell”, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ “I Put A Spell on You”, Earl Grant’s “Imitation of Life”, Edith Piaf’s “Padam Padam,” and surprise songs.

For her fourth Valentine’s Day Massacre, Galás carves songs of doomed love into haunting works that promise to rip your heart out. Sophisticated vocal weaponry combines with a driving, sometimes jaw-dropping, percussive piano style to conjure up a dazzling array of emotions, ranging from fleeting happiness to the terror brought upon by the death of love. Reaching into the heart of the blues, Galás takes it to new places of loneliness, occasionally breaking into the virtuosic singing of the Amanes – a type of improvised lamentation from Asia Minor.





So, no complaining allowed (except from us) tomorrow. Get out there and have a happy V-Whatever-You-Want-It-To-Be Day.

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