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April 19, 2008

Dumb Things People Say To Pregnant Women

These examples were submitted by the evil slut mother-to-be Roxeigh...

Dumb Bitch Parade: The Maternity Edition



1
.
Dumb Bitch: Well, if it takes you six weeks after it, that means we can go out drinking in November. We're still on for new years right? You can just dump it with a babysitter.

Roxeigh: You know I plan on breastfeeding right?

Dumb Bitch: That's two separate things. You can drink an breastfeed at the same time
Yes, she calls my baby 'it' which drives me up the wall...


2.

After dropping the lime that had been soaking in her tequila shot into my water...

Roxeigh: What are you doing?

Dumb Bitch: Giving you the lime, you know I hate limes.

Roxeigh: A lime that was previously soaked in alcohol.

Dumb Bitch: Oh a little bit won't kill you or deform your baby.

3.

Dumb Bitch: Do you want me to hold your hand for your doctor's appointment? Like, when you have your ultrasound? I heard it's terrifying.

4.

Dumb Bitch: If I win that trip you can't go with me because pregnant women can't fly.

Roxeigh: Um, last time I checked you could do lots of things when pregnant.

Dumb Bitch: You can't have sex when you are pregnant.


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1 comment:

Jeesica said...

Oh, so this is what I have to look forward to. Yay!