Disclaimer

Some parts of this blog may contain adult-oriented material. (It is NOT porn or erotica, but some of the content is inappropriate for children). If you are under your country's legal age to view such material or find it to be "objectionable", please leave this page now. Reader discretion is advised...but if you couldn't infer from the title that this may be an adult-oriented blog, then you shouldn't be on the Internet at all.

Everything on the Evil Slutopia blog is copyrighted by the E.S.C. and ESC Forever Media and may not be used without credit to the authors. But feel free to link to us as much as you want! For other legal information, disclaimers and FAQs visit ESCForeverMedia.com.

May 12, 2008

Dumb Things Guys Say: Stupid Protests Edition

A group called The Resistance has issued a press release announcing a boycott of Starbucks. Apparently the group is upset about the logo that Starbucks is using for its new Pike Place Roast. (The new logo, which is actually a version of one of the original logos, and the old green one are below.)



Yes, apparently there's a very big problem with this logo and it is very offensive, because...ready for it? It's too slutty. Yep. Totally skanktastic. No, seriously.

"The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute," explains [Mark] Dice in his press release. "Need I say more? It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves, Slutbucks."

This actually makes me feel better because it explains why I've been on such a Starbucks iced coffee kick for the last couple of weeks - obviously I can't help myself because I'm being drawn in by the subliminal slut messaging. (And what's funny is that this claim actually does have some slight basis in reality, since the logo is a mermaid - or a two-tailed water spirit called a melusine - and is sometimes associated with the Sirens of mythology who were known for seducing and killing men. But they don't exactly spell all of that out on the cup.)

No matter what the origins of the logo, the claims in the quote from The Resistance are laughable, and they'd be even funnier if they weren't so disturbing. 'A naked woman with her legs spread like a prostitute'? First, she's a mermaid. She doesn't have legs. Perhaps they think Ms. Starbucks is just a really flexible woman with a fondness for MC Hammer pants, or a reject from Cirque du Soleil. And second, we all wish we'd known that spreading your legs automatically makes you a prostitute, because in that case there are a lot of guys out there who owe us enough money to buy a lot of lattes. Isn't it just precious that there are still some guys out there who believe that unlike the eleven billion choices on a Starbucks menu, women only come in two flavors: virgin and whore. (See what I did there? Ha ha ha.)

Actually, after thinking about it a little bit, they could be onto something. Starbucks is really popular with teenagers, right? And especially teenage girls. So maybe the real secret behind the prevalence of teen sex in our society isn't raging hormones or an oversexualized media or totally ineffectual abstinence-only sex education. It's frappuccinos. This is obviously a secret plot by liberals (you know, like global warming or the many subversive attempts to make little kids gay) and we can't believe nobody has figured it out before now. Before you know it, they'll probably have deluxe Starbucks locations with an abortion clinic right on site. Somebody really needs to do something about this right away.

We're going to go discuss it over coffee.


Related Posts:

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe if they covered up her boobies it'd be less offensive... hahahahahahahaha

May said...

What a lame complaint. It makes sense that they'd use the original logo for the Pike blend since Pike Place Market is where the original Starbucks still stands with it's original logo still up. It's a whole tourist trap now... always has a long line.

Jezebel said...

A long line...of people being brainwashed into sluttiness. Quick, check the teen pregnancy rates in Seattle!

MadReverie said...

I got coffee at Starbucks the other day (here in Seattle), and I'm not sure if it's a nation-wide thing, but the cups didn't have the green logo; it had the original logo of the Siren.

I haven't compared this with any other Starbucks in the city, but I feel like I should now...

Shar said...

its all about Petes coffee now anyways.

to be honest, i didn't know the starbucks logo was a mermaid to begin with and i certainly didn't know she was a mermaid with spread LEGS and i am unemployed with lots of time to stare at things.
how does one with a job even notice!
ahhahaa.

THE EVIL SLUT CLIQUE said...

We're thinking of hiring an intern just to think up stupid protests all day long. We'll issue a new press release every month and just see what sticks. Maybe we'll start with yogurt.

Anonymous said...

This so feeds (or is it drinks) into the stupid guy thing, but I never had Starbuck's before this year, and that was only because Dunkin' Donuts changed the recipe for their chai. Anyway, I have noticed (as has my husband) that I have been having more sex since I switched to Starbuck's. My husband hates Starbuck's, but he's always asking me if I want to stop in. Now, I know this sounds like a joke, but it is actually true. All I'm saying...

terrorbird said...

Hollywood idiot RICHARD GEE said WAR HAS NEVER SOLVED ANYTHING and he probibly flunked basic intellegence being a stupidheaded hollywood stupidhead

Lilith said...

Um... not sure what this has to do with Starbucks, but okay, we can talk about "Richard Gee" if you want to...

Some advice: if you're going to accuse anyone of probibly flunking basic intellegence... you should maybe learn to spell "intelligence"... or "probably".

Just sayin', stupidhead.