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September 26, 2008

The John McCain Time Out Technique

So, the McCain campaign was totally suspended for a minute there. Sure, a list of talking points about the suspended campaign came out, which I guess they needed since McCain advisers were all over TV talking about the suspended campaign and bashing Obama in the process. Oh, and McCain campaign ads never stopped running. And the campaign offices across the country stayed open. But it was suspended. Really. McCain also wanted tonight's debate to be postponed, because obviously you can't debate during a crisis like this. (Of course, Bush and Gore debated in the wake of the USS Cole attack in 2000 and a Reagan/Carter debate in 1980 went ahead during the Iranian hostage crisis. And Congress probably won't be negotiating at 9:00 on Friday night, and even if they were they probably could live without Senator McCain for a few hours, especially when you consider that he is the most absent member of the 110th Congress, even beating out a senator who missed several months after suffering a brain hemorrhage.) After all, being president doesn't require multitasking, handling multiple important issues at once, or being accountable to the American people. Rock on with that whole "country first" thing, Senator McCain.

All sarcasm aside, we think McCain was really on to something with this "time out" strategy to the campaign and the debate. Rather than give up on it, he should just consider experimenting with it in other political areas. A few ideas:


~Let's ask all the terrorists around the world to take a time out for a little bit so that we can focus on the economy without worrying so much about national security issues. They'll understand. And then our troops around the world could get a time out too! Bet they wish they could do that.

~We should really get pregnant women to time out their pregnancies while we sort out this whole Roe v. Wade thing.

~If McCain gets elected, maybe he could get major gatherings of world leaders, like the UN and the G8 Summit, to agree to time out when it's time for his afternoon nap.

~McCain could ask Spain to take a time out while he figures out which hemisphere they're in.

~Since the president can't actually fire the chairman of the SEC, even though McCain claimed that's what he would have done if he were president right now, maybe he could compromise by asking him to just take a time out instead.

~Obama should take a time out for a little while to give McCain a chance to catch up in the polls. It would be the polite thing to do.

~The media should just time out until after the election. Enough with all of the tough questions and demanding access and interviews! Running mate Sarah Palin has already tested the 'media time out' strategy and it seems to be working out for her.

~At age 72, maybe he can strike a deal with God/Father Time/The Fates/The Flying Spaghetti Monster/etc. to time out his aging process for a few years.

We're open to other suggestions. And we'll be back with coverage of the debate itself, and more fun stuff on the election...as soon as we sober up.


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2 comments:

Jen said...

The whole suspended campaign thing was ridiculous. Did anyone really believe that?

tgrindadams said...

Sarah Palin believed it. She can see Russia from her house. They told her to tell John to "suspend the campaign."

I'll get back to you on that one.

(OK, I give up. I can't sound that stupid no matter how hard I try.)