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March 25, 2009

Conservatives: Please take a break from sucking it so that we can pack for WAM

Seriously, we're leaving for WAM tomorrow so we've got a lot of shit to do today. We can't be this distracted with right-wing lunacy.

~According to Mike Huckabee, abortion = slavery.

Huckabee said that when it abolished slavery, the U.S. debated and decided it was immoral for one person to have complete, life-or-death power over another. He said that should not change whether the control involves racial bigotry or a pregnant woman making a decision for her unborn child.

"What are we saying to the generation coming after us when we tell them that it is perfectly OK for one person to own another human being?" Huckabee said. "I thought we dealt with that 150 years ago when the issue of slavery was finally settled in this country, and we decided that it no longer was a political issue, it wasn't an issue of geography, it was an issue of morality. That it was either right or it was immoral that one person could own another human being and have full control even to the point of life and death over that other human being."

He said civilization cannot survive if "one group of people have life and death control over another for no particular reason other than their own conveniences and, in that case, prejudices."

~While guest-hosting for the delightful Laura Ingraham, Tammy Bruce referred to the Obamas as "trash in the White House".

~On Townhall.com, a guy named Burt Prelutsky wrote a column in which he called First Lady Michelle Obama a bitch, and also a "James Brown-look-alike". The "bitch" line was later scrubbed from the piece. (Don't worry, the link doesn't go to Townhall but to the fabulous Queen of Spain.)

~Rush Limbaugh "accidentally" confused President Obama with Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe, referring to him as "Barack Ogabe". Suck it, etc.

~Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-Crazytown) said this during a recent radio interview:
And really now in Washington, I’m a foreign correspondent in enemy lines. And I try to keep everyone back here in Minnesota know exactly the nefarious activities that are taking place in Washington. […]

I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us, having a revolution every now and then is a good thing, and the people — we the people — are going to have to fight back hard if we’re not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States.

Having a revolution every now and then is a good thing. Honey, it's not a Pampered Chef party. (She also threw in "the science indicates that human activity is not the cause of all this global warming" for good measure.)

~This makes me really sad that we don't get the Fox Business Network here, because clearly the ESC would be rich already if we had access to this kind of brilliant analysis every day:

Fox Business Network anchor Dagen McDowell made her case against a new tax on Wall Street bonuses funded by the government by comparing it to sexual abuse. McDowell: "You don't want to think if you get in bed with Uncle Sam he's going to strip you naked, chain you to the bed, leave you there and then take nasty pictures of you and then put them on the internet."

~The idiotic Fox News show (is there any other kind?) Red Eye mocked the Canadian military during the same week that four Canadian soldiers were killed and eight wounded in Afghanistan.

If I forget my toothbrush because of one of you fuckers, I'm going to be really pissed.

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