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March 10, 2009

Meghan McCain Has A Beef

It's true. And she wants us all to know it. Meghan McCain has a beef...with Ann Coulter. Edgy. Her very fresh and insightful argument is that Ann Coulter actually hurts the Republican party because she's too extreme and negative and offensive, which is so trite and boring that I had to break for a nap in the middle of typing this sentence. So I'm not in it for the profound political commentary, but there is some stuff in here that I find entertaining.

Meghan starts out by talking about how President Obama is super hip and a rock star and the popular kid in school, while Republicans are uncool and lame and she's sad about that because when you're not hip you can't get down with the youth, or whatever. Between this 'Republicans aren't cool' thing and the shocker about Ann Coulter possibly being too negative, this blog is just full of breaking news. Although, I don't think that someone who's still using not-at-all-dated slang like "my beef" can get too judgmental about how unhip other people are. If she had written "I'm Going To Pop Off On Rush Limbaugh" instead, at least she would have been a little closer to the target.

Now comes the painful part, because Meghan actually says something that makes me briefly consider defending Ann Coulter, which has never happened before and should never happen to anyone anywhere. Here it is:

"Coulter could be the poster woman for the most extreme side of the Republican Party. And in some ways I could be the poster woman for the opposite."

Look, I don't really fault Meghan for the whole McCain Blogette thing. If my dad was running for president, I'd be on the bus with him every day and blogging about it too. Fine. But Ann Coulter is a lawyer who has written several best-selling books. (They're poorly written and researched books that are horribly offensive, full of lies, and contribute nothing positive to society, but she still hustled a book deal and duped a bunch of morons into buying them.) Meghan McCain is a chick who got hired as a blogger because she's Meghan McCain and not Meghan Smith. I'm just saying they're not quite at the same level in the "poster woman" competition. Also, I feel like this whole thing is really just about Meghan not wanting Sarah Palin to be the #1 Republican poster woman anymore.

At this point Meghan all but drops the whole Coulter angle to talk about herself and where she stands politically. I guess she's trying to demonstrate her qualifications for the poster woman position. She should have included some sort of graph or timeline because it's very confusing. Let's try to walk through it together based on the info she provides: She voted for John Kerry and says she became a Republican less than a year ago, because she fell "in love with the Republican party" after two years on the campaign trail hanging out with the "most famous and most intelligent" Republicans. Didn't she spend her entire life hanging out with one of the most famous Republicans there is? If he couldn't even sell his own daughter on the GOP, it's no wonder he got his ass kicked in the election. And I have to say that I find all of her talk of being "in love" with the party and "drawn" to it and wanting to fight for it to be vaguely sinister and creepy, but maybe that's just me. So she's a Republican now, and she doesn't like people who say that she's not a real Republican and not conservative enough, but she considers herself a "progressive Republican" because she supports things like stem cell research and gay marriage, at least as much as someone who belongs to a party that wants to ban gay marriage by constitutional amendment can support it. "Progressive Republican" doesn't sound like a very real category to me, so I understand people's confusion about how down with the GOP Meghan really is, but I guess we just don't understand her special love relationship. It couldn't possibly be that she became a Republican when she thought she might get to live in the White House, and now she's sticking with it as a gimmick for her blogging career, but she still wants everyone to think of her as cool and hip and not too Republicany. It's cynical and not loving of me to even think that.

There is a decent argument buried in here somewhere about the fact that catering exclusively to the extreme right-wing of the party really isn't getting the GOP anywhere when it comes to winning elections or attracting new members or appealing to young people. "You're not conservative enough so go away" isn't exactly a winning outreach strategy. Meghan concludes by saying "I love the Republican Party, but if it turns out I am somehow not conservative enough to please its leaders, it makes me wonder—am I then not worthy of even being a member?" Honey, you drink beer, you use the word fuck in casual conversation, you love Dita Von Teese which means that you're not repressing your sexuality completely like a good conservative woman, you once said that Barack Obama was sexy, you enjoy music from genres other than Christian rock, you have a tattoo, and you found A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila hilarious. Do you really need to ask what the conservative party leaders think of young women like you? Just give it up and come over to the dark side already. We'll even make an 'Ann Coulter Can Suck It' shirt for you.

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Rehctaw said...

That Coulter shirt will need a caveat. Either sh in front of "it" or WARNING: Knee-jerk jaw response can cause serious injury to whatever is being sucked.

Meghan OTOH, getting down with her homeys. Bristol with her hip sling thang are tomorrow's Phyllis Schaflys, Elisabeth Hasslebacks and Michelle Bachmanns.
Destined for fullfillment and identity by marrying well in the GAP tradition. Walking, talking hypocrisy suckled on privilege.

Tengrain said...

When you say "Meghan McCain had a beef..." I thought you were hinting that she:
* finally got laid
* calfed
* farted

...and then I saw Ann Coulter's name nearby. I'm going for "got laid."

Do I win anything?



Jezebel said...

Yes, it's true. I was 12 years old when I titled this. But I wouldn't wish sex with Ann Coulter on anyone. I can't even really make the 'Ann Coulter Can Suck It' shirts because it makes me feel dirty.

Rachel said...

Aren't "progressive Republicans" the same as "compassionate conservatives"? In other words, nonexistent?

Seriously, there's another faculty member here who uses the "compassionate conservative" phrase all the time, and another faculty member had to explain it to me (apparently it dates back to Bush I). I still can't stop myself from snickering loudly whenever he uses the phrase.