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June 13, 2009

Dumb Things Guys Say Roundup

Disclaimer: We are away from reliable internet for the week. This blog entry was written previously and scheduled to be posted today. If anything is outdated or has been disproved by now, well, too fucking bad.

I've collected a whole bunch of dumb political quotes this week that we would've loved to write about, but we were running around trying to get ready for the IWWG conference, so instead I'm throwing them all into one big just-the-quotes roundup. It's like an idiot quote festival, or a stupidity jubilee, or...yeah okay it's a quote roundup. As far as commentary goes, just add "____ can suck it" in your mind after you read each quote. (And don't forget that we're always open to suggestions for our Suck It Series of products.)

Manuel Miranda (an aide to former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist until he had to resign when he was busted hacking into the computers of Senate Democrats to steal documents): "Hispanic polls, Hispanic surveys, indicate that Hispanics think just like everyone else. We’re not like African-Americans. We think just like everybody else. When I was on the leader’s staff, someone called me once and asked me: ‘What’s Senator Frist’s Hispanic agenda?’ I said, ‘low taxes, better education, more jobs … what are you talking about?’ And that’s how Hispanics are. This is an opportunity to educate them on all of our issues and they will resonate in the way that they resonate with everyone else." [ThinkProgress]

Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL): "Enough with the histrionics." (Said to an aide about a child who started crying during a hearing as his mother testified about possibly being deported.)

Newt Gingrich: "I am not a citizen of the world. I am a citizen of the United States becauseonly in the United States does citizenship start with our creator. [...] I think this is one of the most critical moments in American history. We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism."

Rush Limbaugh: "You know, a lot of people talk about Obama and his messianic complex. He does have one thing in common with God. Barack Obama has one thing in common with God, do you know what it is? God does not have a birth certificate either...God does not have a birth certificate and neither does Obama. Not that we've seen!" [Media Matters]

Frank Gaffney, President of the Center for Security Policy: "The man now happy to have his Islamic-rooted middle name featured prominently has engaged in the most consequential bait-and-switch since Adolf Hitler duped Neville Chamberlain over Czechoslovakia at Munich." [TalkingPointsMemo]

News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch on Fox News: "If we weren’t fair and balanced, we wouldn’t have the number one network in news — by a very wide margin. People believe we’re fair and balanced, and they love us." [ThinkProgress. Gotta love the 'we're fair and balanced because some people believe that we are' theory.]

Pat Robertson (to parents seeking advice on how to deal with the fact that their son is gay): "You owe him, you know, advice and counsel and guidance. You're his parent. First of all, you didn't say how old he is. Secondly, I am not at all persuaded that so-called homosexuals are homosexuals because of biological problems. There may be a very few, but there are so many that have been made homosexuals because of a coach or a guidance counselor or some other male figure who has abused them and they think there's something wrong with their sexuality. So you need to get deep into why he is what he is, instead of just saying, "Well, he's a homosexual so how do I handle him, and how do I be Christian?" Well, I think you ought to tell him, "Listen, son, you know, here's what the Bible says about this, and it's called an abomination before God, so I've got to tell you the truth because I love you." That's what I think...Of course you love him. And you accept him. You love him, but at the same time, you can't let him just go, you know, he'll wind up...Well, I mean, if somebody's on their way to hell, they'll -- I mean, you've got to love them to rescue them. [Media Matters]

Governor Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) on NBC's "Inside the Obama White House" special: "I haven’t seen something that staged since that half-naked Austrian fell onto the face of Eminem at the MTV music awards. Eminem was mad,” he continued, to laughter and applause. “And so, just like Eminem getting dumped on, we’ve got to kind of regroup. We’ve got to continue to fight. And we’ve got some things worth fighting for.” [ThinkProgress]

Jon Voight: "We and we alone are the right frame of mind to free this nation from this Obama oppression," said Voight. "And let's give thanks to all the great people like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Laura Ingraham, Mark Levin, William Bennett, Glenn Beck, Hugh Hewitt, Dennis Prager, Michael Medved, Dennis Miller, Dick Morris, Ann Coulter, John Kasich, Michael Steele, Karl Rove, Newt Gingrich, Thomas Sowell, Victor Davis Hanson, Shelby Steele, Charles Krauthammer, Michelle Malkin, Fred Barnes and so many others. Let's give thanks to them for not giving up and staying the course, to bring an end to this false prophet Obama." [TalkingPointsMemo]

Troy Newman, president of the extreme anti-choice group Operation Rescue, on the clinic owned by Dr. George Tiller: "I would love to make an offer on that abortion clinic, and that's some of the discussion that we're having." [feministing]

RNC Chairman Michael Steele, explaining why he stated "God help you if you’re a white male coming before her bench" about Judge Sonia Sotomayor: "Well, that’s not inflammatory. It’s based off of what — the inference that she left and what she said. You know, if you have a judge, where you have a situation where you have — you’re going before a trier of fact, and the trier of fact is on record as saying that this individual’s background experience is better positioned to make a decision than someone else, that gives one pause. And so my view of it was, in looking at it, you’re now segregating out white men by your comments. So, God help you if you’re a white male. If you’re seeking justice, this may not be the bench you want to go before." [ThinkProgress]

We just can't wait to see how much fresh dumb will be waiting for us when we get back.

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

"only in the United States does citizenship start with our creator"
er, what.

Y'know, I'm surprised Voigt doesn't add in Scott Roeder and James von Brunn.

Did you see Dan Savage's response to Pat Robertson?