Some parts of this blog may contain adult-oriented material. (It is NOT porn or erotica, but some of the content is inappropriate for children). If you are under your country's legal age to view such material or find it to be "objectionable", please leave this page now. Reader discretion is advised...but if you couldn't infer from the title that this may be an adult-oriented blog, then you shouldn't be on the Internet at all.

Everything on the Evil Slutopia blog is copyrighted by the E.S.C. and ESC Forever Media and may not be used without credit to the authors. But feel free to link to us as much as you want! For other legal information, disclaimers and FAQs visit ESCForeverMedia.com.

August 31, 2009

Chiquita Does New York!

As you must already know, Chiquita and her husband (the Lord) came to visit us recently. We tried to show them as authentic of a "New York" trip as possible - but New York done ESC-style. Some of the things we did were cliché New York moments... others were a little more our own thing.

For some reason, we're having a hard time figuring out exactly how to describe the trip. Maybe it's because so much awesomeness in one place at one time is hard to articulate. We don't know. So we thought we'd just post our lists and notes from the trip, and it'll be like a 'recreated from eyewitness accounts' sort of thing. Or a 'Jezebel and Lilith are lazy' sort of thing.

Authentic New York City experiences
  • The Metropolitan Museum of Art

  • Museum of Natural History

  • The NY Public Library

  • Greenwich Village

  • Flatiron Building

  • Crowded subway at rush hour

  • Stuck in traffic in a cab

  • Grand Central Station

  • Authentic New York pizza

  • Lincoln Center

  • Central Park

  • Columbus Circle

  • Museum of Sex

  • Juilliard

  • Rockefeller Center

  • Washington Square Park/NYU

  • Peanut Butter & Co.

  • Dive bars

Authentic Long Island experiences

  • The beach/the boardwalk

  • The mall

  • Eating dinner at a diner

  • Driving around aimlessly

  • "Sight-seeing" in the rich neighborhoods

  • The Long Island Rail Road

  • Authentic Long Island bagels

Food-related items and establishments that Chiquita and The Lord had never heard of:
  • Ralph's Famous Italian ices (come on, they're famous!). They actually had never heard of Italian ices at all. Yeah, we couldn't believe it either.

  • Dairy Barn

  • Cosi

  • Sicilian pizza (We also had to educate them that "Sbarros" is not "pizza".)

  • White Castle

  • Starbucks Coffee (Just kidding.)
  • "Unlimited Marinated Sliced Steak Night"

  • We also made sure that the Lord had his very first margarita. (He liked it, but not the price!)

Songs that we tortured Chiquita and The Lord with:
  • "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips

  • American Mall soundtrack (in fact, we sang this the entire time we were at the actual mall; we danced too)

  • "Maria" by TKA

  • The Rent soundtrack

  • "Informer" by Snow

  • Pretty much every other cheesy song from the 80s and 90s. (We did an awesome nostalgia medley on the train.)

Quotes that will only be funny to us but we'll share them anyway:

  • "Our friend couldn't hear the movie and she doesn't read Spanish!"

  • "Fools rush in!!"

  • "Alice...like the girl's name?"

  • "Please to go go go with me now"

  • "It's call no-touch... no-touch."

Lessons Learned:
  • Hold on for one more day.

  • Be somebody or you'll be somebody's fool.

  • "Chicos es tanto" (We also learned that our Spanish grammar sucks.)

For those of you who are sad that you missed your chance to Buy Chiquita A Beer, please feel free to buy us a beer now to help us recover from all of that sight-seeing and singing.

August 30, 2009

Quick Hit: Anna Paquin Naked!

The ESC is obsessed with True Blood. (Yeah, we know, us and about five million other people.) Lilith was the first one to get into it, and awhile back she basically insisted that I start watching it too, so now we're both hooked.

The show stars Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress who gets herself involved with vampires, killers, vampire killers, shapeshifters...it's complicated. There's a lot of sex and violence on the show, which is part of the reason why we love it and the One Million Moms would hate it. Paquin is on the cover of the September issue of Nylon magazine, and one of the questions in the interview is about all of the nude scenes that she's had to do on the show:

Anna Paquin, on her Nude Scenes:
“I don’t think a naked body is particularly shocking or interesting… It’s not the culture I was raised in. I was not brought up in the United States. I don’t share the [attitude] that you can have graphic violence, but – God forbid – you see someone’s nipples.”
We've written a bunch of times before about the sex/violence disconnect - that is, the fact that conservative groups like the One Millions Moms and Morality in Media consistently freak the fuck out about any sexual content in the media while largely ignoring all of the violent content that's out there. So it's nice to see an actor call it out and point out that nudity shouldn't be particularly shocking or scandalous.

Also, I realized that this is the third time this month that I've written about a celebrity being naked for one reason or another, so...um, any requests for September?

August 29, 2009

Another Naked Picture Scandal!?

So we're sure you know about all the fuss over the leaked naked photos of Vanessa Hudgens. Now everyone is talking about the newest naked picture scandal over yet another High School Musical star, Corbin Bleu... only... wait... they're not.

Here's the picture:

OMG it's Chad Danforth naked!!!!!!!!!!! What will all of the kids at East High think when they see this?

Okay, so this is a promo shot for the Corbin's new show The Beautiful Life, which is about a group of models. And I think that I should have waited until the end to add the picture, because now naked Corbin Bleu is staring at me as I write this and it's a little awkward.

Anyway. On the one hand, this is obviously different from the Vanessa Hudgens "scandal" because Corbin Bleu posed for his naked picture in the context of a role and knowing that it would go public. He did it on purpose. On the other hand, he did it on purpose. He chose to put a naked picture out there, and as far as we know, Vanessa Hudgens never made that choice. But the reactions to the two situations are really different.

For example, here are a few comments from Pink is the New Blog readers about the Vanessa Hudgens picture leak:
She is an attention-whore. If you are famous and take nude pictures they are going to leak. There is no exception to this rule. AND she has already dealt with this. This girl is a major dumbass and doesn’t deserve her career. Seriously, Disney needs to pull the plug on her already.

dirty hoe.

What a little whore. I mean seriously….

She was underage, but I dont feel bad for her. What an idiot. And uh kind of slutty and desperate.

She is fucking dumb. She needs to get slapped.

goddd, prosti-tots are idiots..
And here are some comments from Pink is the New Blog readers on Corbin's picture:
I’ve been thinking Corbin Bleu was hot for a good while now. I definitely appreciate the picture.

Wow, Corbin. Can I say yum? I might just watch this show for him.

Go Corbin woot woot

I’ve wanted him to shed his cookie cutter, bubblegum image for a while now - excited for this drug-filled, twisted show!

I def thought Corbin Bleu had potential in HSM. Clearly he has fulfilled it, haha.
So if you're playing a character who publicly gets naked in front of a camera it's perfectly okay, but if you privately get naked in front of a camera in your real life you're a dirty tramp? If getting naked is a career choice, more power to you, but if it's part of your sex life that gets leaked without your consent, you're an idiot who doesn't "deserve" a career at all. Got it.

Is anyone worried about what impressionable young High School Musical fans will think when they see this picture? It certainly doesn't seem like it, even though I'm sure some of the Disney crowd will be tuning in to The CW to see Corbin's new show. I guess we're only supposed to worry about that with Vanessa Hudgens' pictures, because after all, young girls might want to imitate her! And we can't pass up an opportunity to police the sexuality of young women by making a slut-shamed example out of Vanessa. I have to wonder what people would say if it was Vanessa or one of the other female stars of HSM who had joined the cast of The Beautiful Life and participated in this photo shoot.

To be clear, I'm not saying that Corbin did anything wrong by posing for this picture. He's an adult and he's got a new show to promote, and the picture itself is not really a big deal. And he can't stay in the HSM universe forever. I am saying that Vanessa Hudgens didn't do anything wrong either, and the double standard at work here is stupid.

August 28, 2009

I have an urge to purge...

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw... they're doing it again. They're trying to turn a hit 80's movie into a TV show. Or rather, trying to exploit the "brand" name of a hit movie by watering it down. Just a few days ago we wrote about the St. Elmo's Fire "remake" and how we thought it was a pretty dumb idea. But now they've gone too far!

Heathers was one of my most favorite 80's films ever. I love it so much, in fact, that we purposely didn't include it in our recent 80's remake fantasy casting because I could never imagine anyone filling the shoes of Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, et al. There have been rumors of a Heathers sequel forever - mainly because Winona Ryder brings it up every few years - but director Michael Lehmann swears that it's never gonna happen. So imagine the shock and dismay (and I'll admit, curiosity) when we read that 1988 theatrical failure turned cult-hit Heathers would also be taken to the small screen. What's your damage, Fox!?

The other day, we had the misfortune of accidentally watching another great-movie-turned-terrible-TV-show, 10 Things I Hate About You. What a piece of garbage that show is. I'm sure that Heath Ledger is turning over in his grave every time it airs. (Well, what else do we expect from the network that brought us The Secret Life of the American Teenager?) The story has been completely watered-down and the characters are mere caricatures of the originals.

We think it's safe to assume that this will be the same fate for any Heathers-reimagining. It's got to be somewhat of a tough-sell (even for Fox) to bring the dark humor tale of teenage murder-disguised-as-suicide storyline to network TV. Might be pretty risky trying to preserve the true essence of the movie and the plot is sure to be a logistical nightmare. Can they really drag the murders out farther than a few episodes, let alone a few seasons, without totally altering the heart of the story?

If they eliminate the murders altogether and just turn it into another "high school can be a mega-bitch" series, then what's left to differentiate it from Gossip Girl, the new 90210, or pretty much anything else on the CW? Why even bother calling it Heathers in that case? Just call it Mean Girls: The Series.

But who knows... maybe it will work. Taking a famous movie and turning it into a TV show can be a big risk, but sometimes the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. One huge risk that did pay off was Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Based on a cheesy B-movie about an airhead cheerleader turned "chosen one", that series may have been one of the biggest risks in TV history. (The original film starred Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry for chrissakes!). It ended up being a risk worth taking. Buffy, which aired for seven years, earned creator Joss Whedon Emmy nominations, a spin-off (Angel) and a cult following. And this was before the vampire genre blew up with the likes of True Blood and Twilight, etc.

There was a very different fate for the short-lived and long-forgotten Ferris Bueller series, based on the movie starring Matthew Broderick. The film was a huge hit and is still popular today, but the show tanked. The TV show Clueless - which actually featured many of the original cast members from the movie version, minus star Alicia Silverstone - was also canceled early on.
So maybe Heathers will be successful as a TV show... maybe it will be true to the original film... but it's pretty unlikely that it will be both.

Quick Hit: St. Elmo's Fire

We just wrote about remaking our favorite 80s movies... but this is just too much. Apparently St. Elmo's Fire is being remade - nay, "re-envisioned" - as a TV show. No really.

Joel Schumacher, who co-wrote and directed the original film, is teaming up with Dan Bucatinsky, Jamie Tarses, and Topher Grace to bring this "new" show to ABC. Luckily they're not trying to completely recreate the movie (because that would totally not work). Rather they're just using the film as inspiration to recreate "the feeling of bonding with your friends who become your surrogate family."

Instead of the original seven characters, there will be six recent grads - three girls and three guys - sort of like a post-grad Friends. Bucatinksy, said "I feel it is time to re-create Friends in the hour-long genre and feel like this is the perfect opportunity". (Also, Tarses developed Friends as an NBC exec).

Of course, there already are a few shows out there that have tried to mimic the Friends-phenomenon with quirky ensemble casts of buddies... like How I Met Your Mother, the geeky The Big Bang Theory or the CW's new Melrose Place remake. (Not to mention the fact that there was already a sitcom about recent graduates this year called Roommates. It lasted a whole two months before it was cancelled.)

Of course, this begs the question: if it's not going to be like the original St. Elmo's Fire, then why even call it "St. Elmo's Fire"? Maybe because they're just trying to capitalize off of an already-established favorite (by copying another already-established favorite) instead of trying to come up with an original idea for a change? Yeah, that's probably it.

But how successful is it really going to be if the people who didn't like the movie are put off by the concept and end up not giving the show a try, the people who loved the movie are put off by the watered-down and half-assed attempt at a "reframing", and the people who don't remember or don't care about the movie will assume that the show isn't for them?

Even if you put all of that aside, the biggest problem is that the best part of St. Elmo's Fire wasn't really the storyline, but the cast... and it will definitely be hard to recreate that kind of chemistry again without a group like the Brat Pack. So why even bother?

August 27, 2009

80's Remake Fantasy Casting

We've been watching a lot of 80's movies lately. Not sure why... Maybe the TV networks are just feeling a bit nostalgic for fun music and bad fashion, who knows? Either way, we've been enjoying it, but it's also given us a lot to think about. So many classic movies from our childhood have been - or are about to be - remade. It definitely brings up mixed feelings.

On the one hand, we love these movies... who wouldn't want to relive them? On the other hand, there really only a small chance that anyone will possibly be able to do these films justice. Yes, we realize that a lot of these films actually totally sucked, but they sucked in a good way. It's very hard to reproduced the correct ratio of cheesy-to-awesome. There have been a lot of remake rumors over the years. Some totally great (like Tron: Legacy) and some totally terrifying (like an Adventures in Babysitting remake starring Raven-Symone). Some of the choices are just puzzling... like reinventing Fame as a squeaky clean teen flick or casting Chace Crawford in the new Footloose. Sure he's pretty, but can he dance?

We admit we were a little disappointed when we heard the news that Zac Efron was taking a pass on the Footloose remake. He seemed perfect to fill Kevin Bacon's shoes. But then the other day we were watching TV and realized that there is a much better 80's remake idea for him: Teen Wolf! No, really.

Unlike some classic 80's flicks like Weird Science or Red Dawn that just would not translate to our 21st century world, Teen Wolf is a story so timeless it could take place in any decade. Plus we know how much people love to cast Zac Efron as a high school basketball star. (And really, if there was ever anything more implausible than Zac Efron as a basketball star, it was Michael J. Fox as one).

They even almost look alike:

Actually, after writing this, we googled "Zac Efron Teen Wolf" on a whim and realized that we're not so far off - there is a remake in the works and he is being considered. (We are always right on top of this shit). He probably won't take the part, but we're keeping our fingers crossed. We'd also throw James Lafferty from One Tree Hill into the cast too - he's cute and he has years of experience playing a high school basketball star and dealing with totally implausible plotlines.

There are other 80's movies we'd secretly love to see remade (but of course we'd claim to be totally offended if anyone actually attempted to redo them)... like Little Darlings. We all know that Miley Cyrus is going to want to take some more serious movie roles after Hannah Montana... what could be better than losing her virginity at summer camp? America's favorite robot Kristen Stewart can co-star, because after Twilight she deserves a movie with some actual sex in it. It's at least got to be a better movie than Rhinestone 2: Still Rhiney.

And while I really hope that the rumors of Miley starring in a Girls Just Wanna Have Fun remake are totally, utterly false... I would love to see that movie remade. Screw Miley - if they're going to insist on going Disney, I'd rather see BFFs Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato co-star. How cute would that be!? Or maybe Gossip Girl besties Blake Lively and Leighton Meester.

Speaking of Blake Lively, did you know that her older sister Robyn was the star of Teen Witch? Which means that Blake would have to appear in any remake - such as the one rumored to be starring Disney darling Ashley Tisdale. It's the law.

And since it's a little known fact that we will watch almost anything starring Amanda Bynes (can't exactly explain why we love her, but we just do)... who else would we cast in a fantasy production of Sixteen Candles? She was already adorable in She's the Man (which, although not technically a remake, had pretty much the same premise as Just One of the Guys). In fact, she could re-team with co-star Channing Tatum as Jake Ryan. Not too many of today's current "hotties" are actually hot enough to pull off that kind of role and luckily there wouldn't be too many lines to confuse him. But they would have to add in an extra scene or two where Chan takes his shirt off. Please...

There are other 80's flicks that Hollywood is already attempting to remake. We're not quite sure if our reaction is horror, morbid curiosity, or breathless anticipation. Probably a combination. Some of these include Ferris Bueller's Day Off (the proposed script is actually for a sequel, with Matthew Broderick reprising his role as Ferris 20 years later) and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (without George Carlin can it possibly be any good?)

There's one classic that we hope never gets made: The Breakfast Club. There's just no way they could ever do the original justice. But the more we thought about it, the more we wondered which of today's young stars would fill the shoes of the infamous brain, athlete, basket case, princess and criminal... and we came up with some hilarious ideas.

  • They could do an all Gossip Girl recast: Penn Badgley, Chace Crawford, Taylor Momsen, Leighton Meester, and Ed Westwick (respectively)

  • Or One Tree Hill: Bethany Joy Galeotti, James Lafferty, Hilarie Burton, Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray

  • Or a 90210 version: Michael Steger, Dustin Milligan, Jessica Stroup, Shenae Grimes, and Matt Lanter.

  • How about the Secret Life (you know we love any excuse to mention this show): Ken Baumannn, Greg Finley, India Eisley, Megan Park and Daren Kagasoff.

  • Or even a High School Musical one: Lucas Grabeel, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, and Corbin Bleu.
On second thought... no. Let's just forget about that one. What are some of your favorite 80's flicks you'd like to see remade... and your fantasy casts?

August 26, 2009

What Does It Mean To Be Female?

You may or may not be following the news stories about South African runner Caster Semenya. After the 18-year-old Semenya won the 800 m. in the 2009 World Championships in Athletics with a time of 1:55:45 - the fastest time of the year - suspicions of her gender were raised. The International Association of Athletics Federations conducted a gender verification test in the weeks before awarding her the medal. The IAAF claims that they do not suspect cheating, but wanted to determine if she had a "rare medical condition" that would give her an unfair advantage. (They also claimed that they would not necessarily withdraw her medal if she "failed".)

This is just another sad case of what happens when a female player is just too good... There are obviously sexist and racist implications to this situation. How could a woman be that good? She doesn't look feminine enough. A lot of it is probably jealousy: Elisa Piccione, the Italian runner who finished sixth behind Semenya, was quoted as saying "for me, she is not a woman". Have they also questioned the genders of silver and bronze medal winners, Janeth Jepkosgei (Kenya) and Jenny Meadows (Britain)?

Semenya's case brings up the deeper question of what is really required in order to call yourself "female" in today's world of athetlics?

We're not sure what actual methods of testing the IAAF uses, seeing as sex and gender are so complex. According to one analysis of the case, it would take a combination of internal medicine specialists, gynecologists, psychologists, geneticists, and endocrinologists to make a definite determination.

There's the obvious distinction of genitalia, but a number of conditions can cause someone to appear female but have a biological makeup that is more "male" (or vice versa). Sometimes genitalia are ambiguous. There is the question of hormones. Recent tests indicated that Semenya's testosterone levels were higher than "normal". (This doesn't necessarily mean she isn't female, nor does it mean she cheated by taking hormones or performance enhancing drugs). Then there's the issue of genetic/chromosomal sex: XX is "female", XY is "male". There are also rare cases in which a person may have XXY chromosomes: People with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome may be chromosomally "male", but were unable to respond to androgen in utero and therefore developed as "female". (Athletes with AIS are permitted to compete as "female" in the Olympics because the condition isn't believed to give any competitive advantage).

Then of course, there's the social construct of gender. I think it's important to remember that Semenya is a woman, regardless of what the sex testing may reveal. Leonard Chuene, president of Athletics South Africa said, "Let me warn professors and scientists that the only scientists I believe in are the parents of this child. [...] One scientist from a stupid university somewhere is going to erase the entire life of this girl."

The Olympics and other sports organizations have begun allowing transgendered athletes to compete, but intersex people are still put in a tricky situation if they want to compete in athletics. For one, there's the issue of how much of an advantage does one's gender make-up actually contribute? If being intersex does give a woman an unfair advantage against "normal" women, then who is she supposed to play against? Men? Other intersex women? No one at all?

Related Posts:

August 23, 2009

Brand New Amazing Invention!

So as you may already know, we always pick up a copy of Cosmopolitan magazine when we travel. Cosmo has taught us many things over the years - how to stay safe by planting a cactus, how to save money by eating dinner at the grocery store, how to get guys to like you by pretending to like sports, how to stop being insecure by acting like a man, and of course, how to prevent looking like a slut by not having sex too soon - but we were not prepared for the groundbreaking discovery described in the August 2009 issue...

There's this new fangled invention called personal lubricant. Although we hear the kids today are calling it "lube". I know it sounds crazy, but it's true... Cosmo said that if we use this lube stuff, we can turn our man into an orgasm whisperer. (That's actually the title of the article: "Turn Him Into the Orgasm Whisperer"). If you don't believe us you can pick up a copy and check out pages 122-125 and learn all about this amazing totally brand new product that apparently no one has ever heard of before.

Lubrication is very important... not just because dry sex can be a real pain (literally) but because if you're not wet enough it will totally traumatize your man.

...psychologically, dryness can have an even more negative and traumatizing effect on his libido. "While a guy may logically know that a woman's wetness has nothing to do with his sexual prowess, subconsciously, he still may think he's not enough in bed to arouse her"

Cosmo was kind enough to explain exactly how to use lube - because it's really hard to figure out on your own - and even gave some sexy suggestions for ways to use it. For example, they suggested putting it in your vagina or on your man's penis. Who would've thought?! Apparently, you can use it during sex, awesome idea! There are all kinds of lube and each one is specially designed for Cosmo's "advanced tricks" including:
You can also use lube to "surprise him with a hand job" - you know, for anyone that still actually gives handjobs. They even suggest using it in substitute of massage oil... because as we all know there aren't any actual massage oils on the market.

Bottom line: There isn't a spot on your body that lube can't go.
Yes, according to Cosmo, you can use lube anywhere... except you know... um... in your bottom line. We had heard this crazy rumor that you can also use lube for anal sex, but Cosmo doesn't mention it so it probably isn't true. Also, Cosmo doesn't mention use of lube with sex toys of any kind... because I guess a woman doesn't need one if she has her very own "Orgasm Whisperer." (Heh.)

Best. Date. Ever.

New comic!

Read More: I Read While He Plays Video Games

August 20, 2009

Dumb Things Young Guys Say

Dumb Guy: Yeah, so what are you 23, 24...?

Lilith: I guess you could say that I'm twenty-ten.

Dumb Guy: Class of 2010!? Me too!

Lilith: Sigh.

PS: Don't forget to Buy Chiquita a beer!

August 13, 2009

Buy Chiquita A Beer!

As you may already know our favorite guest blogger (and newly named Arts Editor) Chiquita is coming to visit the Evil Slut Clique! It's no secret that the ESC is a little short on cash lately, but we want to be able to show Chiquita and her husband, The Lord, the best time possible. So we have launched the Buy Chiquita a Beer campaign! Of course, we are always open to accepting help in offseting the costs of maintaining the blog, but right now we are specifically asking for small donations to help fund Chiquita's visit to New York.

Donations are automatically set for $5.00 each (we didn't want to have to ask for more than that, so we figured $5.00 is just about the price of a beer). If you would like to give another amount or help support Evil Slutopia in another way, you can go here. We are eternally grateful. Thank you!

Quick Hit: Skin-to-Swimsuit Ratio

There are not one but two controversial swimsuit-related news stories right now and they're sort of on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Alton Towers - a theme park in Staffordshire, England - has banned Speedos from their water park. A representative for the park insist that the new rule requiring men to wear swim trunks or boardshorts is meant to "prevent embarrassment among fellow members of the public and to maintain the family-friendly atmosphere at the resort". (This rule applies only to men, but apparently they also frown on thong-wearing of both genders).

Elsewhere in Europe a different kind of bathing suit ban has been enacted. A pool in France recently banned women's use of the "burqini", a head-to-toe swimsuit favored by Muslim women. The new policy bans baggy clothing, including "surfer-style" shorts in favor of figure-hugging suits for "hygiene standards".

So small, tight bathing suits are obscene and big, baggy bathing suits are not hygienic. What is the perfect size and shape of a swimsuit then? What is the perfect ratio of skin to swimsuit? Do you have to show like, 50% skin? 60% skin?

Related: The Olympics: Questions to Ponder

Road Trip?

New comic!

August 12, 2009

Spotlight: Anne Schneider

As you know, we met a lot of wonderful and amazingly talented women this year... at the International Women's Writing Guild's summer conference at Skidmore College, at Women, Action and the Media (WAM!) in Boston, and most recently at BlogHer in Chicago. We already raved about a lot of these ladies in our recaps and we still have a huge stack of books to read... but we decided that from time to time we'd like to just put a random Spotlight on an awesome woman who is doing awesome things. Sometimes we will choose people completely randomly (by just pulling a business card out of our huge pile) and sometimes we will choose to feature people because they're just that awesome.

Our first "official" spotlight is on Anne Schneider, a woman we met in Hope Player's class this past summer at Skidmore. Located in Kerrville, Texas, Anne is a life-style artist who integrates her creative, physical, and spiritual practices... namely mask-making, writing, Reiki, Tai Chi and overall being-awesome-ness. Anne translates her literary creativity into the visual arts through mask making. (It was actually at Skidmore a few years ago that Anne's exploration of self-discovery eventually led her to teach her "Mask as Metaphor" workshop).

We didn't have the opportunity to take her workshop this year, but we did spend a bit of time talking to her. She is just a lovely person. She has the soul of an artist - you can tell just by being around her - and a really great energy.

Anne's book is Breath Found Along the Way and is a compilation of her poetry and mask art. You can get more information or purchase a copy here. Her next upcoming book will be titled Warrior Women.

August 11, 2009

Hot New Power Couple Alert!

Of course I'm talking about the summer's latest, most beautiful and inspiring love story...Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston. Yes, Bristol's babydaddy and the queen of the D-List. It's a match made in...well, in the hilariously twisted mind of Kathy Griffin, obviously.

Here are the lovebirds at the Teen Choice Awards.

Teen Choice Awards 2009 - ArrivalsTeen Choice Awards 2009 - Arrivals

And here's Kathy interview Levi on Larry King Live:

I think we just may be looking at the next Brangelina here, folks.

Kathy's been joking for awhile about wanting to get the rumor going that she was having a secret affair with Levi so that she could get some publicity out of it. And she actually pulled it off. (Well, the publicity part at least, which we know is all she really cares about anyway.) We love and respect her shamelessness. And if Levi continues to do his part to keep Sarah Palin as far away from the White House as possible by pulling stunts like this, he'll cement his reputation as a true American patriot.

Also, I totally think that Levi should move in with Kathy for the next season of My Life On The D-List. You know you'd watch.

August 9, 2009

The Return of I Read While He Plays Video Games!

Yes, it's true - the comic is back! (Sorry for the hiatus, we were too busy doing very important stuff, like reading and playing video games). Just a quick recap of where we left off...

All caught up? We'll be back tomorrow with a brand new comic!

August 7, 2009

Give Vanessa Hudgens A Break

This week we've all been treated to Round 2 of the Vanessa Hudgens nude pictures scandal. And this time it's extra shocking and scandalous because...oh wait, actually it's just a stupid rehash of the previous immature freakout over leaked pictures that were meant to be private. Exciting!

Let's break down all of the nonsense that people have been saying about this since the "story" broke yesterday. (I'm not linking to any sites that have the pictures up. Try the usual gossipy suspects if you really must see them.)

1. Vanessa Hudgens is so stupid to let this happen again! Didn't she learn her lesson about naked pictures the first time?

This might be a valid point to raise if the pictures were actually new, but they're not. In fact, they're apparently a little bit older than the pictures that leaked last time and may have been taken when she was underage.
The pics have been pitched to various sites, including TMZ -- we turned them down. Several websites have published the photos, taken by Vanessa herself in her home. Vanessa's lawyer says the pics were taken when she was underage. As such, publication could be a federal crime...The lawyer has sent cease and desist letters to various websites that have published the photos, asserting the publication is both a crime and a violation her right of privacy. [TMZ]
If the pictures are years old and are being leaked by someone that she sent them to back then, there's nothing she can really do to prevent them from coming out now. It's not a matter of a lesson that she didn't learn, but rather it's unfortunately about a mistake that she can't unmake. And of course, we never hear "this loser ex-boyfriend/ex-friend/whoever is responsible is such a spiteful douchebag! Will they ever learn their lesson?"

2. She has a new movie coming out so she probably leaked the photos herself as a publicity stunt!

Considering that the movie she has coming out, Bandslam, is a PG-rated summer movie about high school kids in a band competition and not some kind of edgy 'playing against type' role for her, I kinda doubt that she'd go for a manufactured naked photo scandal to promote this one. If some goofy rumor had come out this week about her and Zac Efron getting engaged, breaking up, starring in a Dirty Dancing remake together, or whatever, it would be a lot easier to claim that as a free publicity grab for Bandslam. But naked pictures? I'm not buying it.

Also, if we're going to entertain the "she did it for the publicity!" claims, shouldn't we at least consider the opposite argument? Maybe the person who leaked the photos did want publicity for Vanessa...the negative, embarrassing kind. (Hey, maybe it was Ashley Tisdale and she did it because she wants Sharpay to end up with Troy if they ever make a fourth High School Musical movie! ...yeah, I'm kidding and I'm embarrassed that I was able to type that sentence without having to look up any HSM character names or plotlines.) If the person who has the photos is a pissed off ex-boyfriend or someone else with an agenda, it's possible, and the timing of the leaks would still make sense. But hey, why bother to even consider who might really be to blame when we've got a celebrity to gleefully tear down, right?

3. Disney should fire her for this!

That would be tricky considering that she's not working for Disney anymore. But what exactly would they be firing her for anyway? For having her privacy invaded? For making a bad decision about her private life when she was a teenager? For having a sex life at all? Stop me when I get close.

For the record, when the first "scandal" broke and Vanessa was between High School Musical movies, some people thought she would be dropped by Disney. But she issued an apology to her fans, saying that she was embarrassed and regretted taking the photos, and Disney put out a statement saying, "Vanessa has apologized for what was obviously a lapse in judgment...We hope she’s learned a valuable lesson."

And again, these were private photos, so I think her apology at the time was more than enough. It's not like she promised to be a squeaky clean Disney star and then turned around and immediately posed for Playboy or something. In an interview with GQ awhile back, Megan Fox was asked about the situation and I think her response is pretty awesome:

“With any of the Miley Cyrus shit, or any of that Vanessa Hudgens shit—I would never issue an apology for my life and for who I am. It’s like, Oh, I’m sorry I took a naked, private picture that someone is an asshole and sold for money. I’m sorry if someone else is a dick. No. You shouldn’t have to apologize. Someone betrayed Vanessa, but no one’s angry at that person. She had to apologize. I hate Disney for making her do that. Fuck Disney.”

Not much I can add to that.

4. What about the bad message that this sends to her fans?

Obviously nobody wants Vanessa's really young fans to get the idea that they should all start doing nude photo shoots in their bedrooms and emailing the results to their 12 year old boyfriends, but I really really doubt that that's going to start happening. I'm a lot more concerned about the negative messages that the reaction to this "scandal" will send to a lot of young women. Your body is something to be ashamed of. It's wrong to express your sexuality. Even if you're legally old enough to consent to sex. Even if you're in private. Even in the context of a relationship. Even if you choose to do it because you want to. (Especially then.) Good girls don't. Also, it's okay for us to judge each other and call each other sluts and whores, especially if we can do it anonymously on the internet.

5. She's a total slut/whore/tramp/skank/etc. because of these pictures!

No, she isn't. If you actually think this, you just might be a judgmental moron. And probably a hypocrite too.

She didn't do anything wrong. Maybe she used bad judgment in keeping these pictures or sending them to someone who ended up not being trustworthy, but so what? She was young, she made a mistake, and she learned from it in the most public and humiliating way possible. But there's nothing bad or wrong or dirty or slutty about taking naked pictures, just like there's nothing bad or wrong or dirty or slutty about being a sexually active young woman, as long as you're safe and comfortable and doing it because you want to. So let's stop the slut-shaming already and leave Vanessa alone!

August 6, 2009

Babies and Boobies

Apparently there's a new breastfeeeding doll on the market in Spain called "Bebé Glotón" ("Baby Glutton" in Spanish although the connotation is more like "happily fed baby" rather than "gluttonous baby"). The doll is supposed to promote breastfeeding to children as being normal and natural.

Photo from Thingamababy.com

I sort of have mixed feelings about this... On the one hand we're very pro-breastfeeding - and really easily irritated by people who say it's creepy or wrong - so anything that destigmatizes it for children is pretty cool. On the other hand, it's a little creepy. (Not because it breastfeeds; I just find all the dolls that "simulate" real baby behavior, like eating and going to the bathroom to be pretty creepy). The fake boobies halter top is a little weird; there are flowers that are meant to represent the nipple area. When the doll is lifted to the flowers it makes a suckling motion and sound.

Photo from Thingamababy.com

I'm not really sure if a doll like this is even necessary... The parents who think breastfeeding is gross or inappropriate would never buy this doll for their kids in the first place. The children whose mothers breastfeed are likely already pretending to nurse their dolls (Lil' Lilith did it - in fact, she even used a Boppy) because that's what kids do. They mimic their parents. They likely don't need an expensive, fancy suckling doll to do it. Why do the toy companies think that all these technological advances to make dolls more "lifelike" are so necessary? Let's not forget that kids do have imaginations. But I guess there is something cool about a doll that looks and acts and sounds like a real baby. (Cool if you're a little kid; as an adult I find dolls that act like they're alive really really scary).

What I don't agree with is the ridiculous claim that this toy somehow sexualizes children. WTF?The first comment on Thingamababy.com:

Wow. Speechless. Thats almost like putting pasties on a ten year old! - Summer
Some people are seriously fucked up. Yes, I know that the flower boobies are a little weird... but I suppose it's simply because they didn't want to encourage little girls to start lifting up their shirts at playtime. (At least not until the "Little Girls Gone Wild" board game comes out). To make the leap to pasties is a little messed up. It also goes back to the old misconception that breasts are always sexual and therefore breastfeeding - especially extended nursing - is some form of abuse. (I loathe the people who make that claim).

[Before you all jump down Summer's throat: She later commented that she does support breastfeeding and the pasties comment was just a joke... because apparently equating nursing mothers with strippers is hilarious.]

Another commenter suggested that this doll would encourage teen pregnancy. No, she really did:

WTF !?!?! Um, OK.. OK, this is just too weird. OK, so while they are teaching LITTLE girls that breastfeeding is natural, “OK”, but at the same time, they are teaching them that teen/early pregnancy is OK too right? Cause if a girl is going to be curious about breast feeding a DOLL that is meant for that, then she is goin to want to know what its like to REALLY do it. WOW, that’s really keeping children safe huh.. way to go SPAIN!!! Ya, OK, a PARENT should be teaching their child about babies, breastfeeding, SEX and so on, not some damn doll. ARE YOU SERIOUS? My son watches me every day nurse my daughter, is he curious, YES, he even asked if he could feed her, I told him, no baby, only mommies feed babies. That is natural. Teach your little girl that breast feeding is natural “THE RIGHT WAY !!” When she is old enough to know what the hell it is. You might as well just tell her its OK to go and talk to boys before she is 18 too and go out on dates, and have sex. - AKJ
Um... what? So letting your kids pretend to breastfeed baby dolls will make them become teenage parents? Really? So does that mean that they shouldn't be allowed to bottlefeed their dolls too? Or really, they shouldn't be allowed to play with baby dolls at all... because it encourages them to want to be parents.

I also think it's pretty funny that she said that parents should teach their kids about this stuff and not "some damn doll", as if the parents are just going to hand the doll to their kids and not say anything about it. Because you know, that's totally how I'm going to parent... To teach my daughter about sex, I'll just hand her a box of condoms. I'm not going to bother teaching her to drive; I'll just let her go play bumper cars at the amusement park.

She's not alone in thinking that breastfeeding is too grownup for kids:

Honestly, I think this is awful. Now let me just be clear, I think breastfeeding is wonderful and wholeheartedly encourage it, HOWEVER, it is completely innapropriate to allow a young girl to mimic it. Yes, breastfeeding is completely natural, but it is something that only adults do, not children. It would actually disgust me if I were to see a child using this “toy”. - AC89
Yeah. It's totally inappropriate for children to mimic things that only adults do. I wonder if she's equally disgusted when she sees children playing with toy lawnmowers or vacuums or trucks or kitchen sets or tools or other items that are for "adults only". (Unless of course she allows her kids to drive and use power tools and cook on the stove?)

But this comment might be my favorite:


Sorry, but young children are sort of the experts on breastfeeding. I think the problem here is that everyone thinks this doll is supposed to encourage children to want to breastfeed. It doesn't. It's not promoting breastfeeding per se, so much as it is promoting the acceptance and understanding of breastfeeding. That is, kids aren't really learning about breastfeeding from this doll. They've probably already learned about from their breastfeeding mothers. Either from being breastfed themselves or by seeing a sibling be breastfed... you know what that means... "They learned it by watching you mom!"

To give credit where credit is due: we first read about this doll on Bust.com who directed readers to the full story on Thingamababy.com. (There is also pretty good commentary on Examiner.com).

Quick Hit: Dan Patrick Is A Dad

I was looking at some random sports news today (which I'm totally not supposed to do, since I'm a woman and all) and I came across a story about former ESPN anchor Dan Patrick's new DirecTV show, which just started airing recently. It's one of those radio show simulcast things, where a camera crew is going to film the radio show plus some extra bonus footage and make a TV show out of it. Also, the show is apparently filmed at a special studio near Patrick's home that was remodeled by the crew from the DIY Network show "Man Caves", which I'm sure is very cool and a sports heaven and everything, but really it just makes me wonder if he has a Man Wall.

But anyway, the details of the show aren't that important. What caught my eye was Patrick's comment about the reason why he left ESPN several years ago.

Moving the show to DirecTV is the next evolution for Patrick, who was one of ESPN’s biggest stars when he departed.

"I made (the move) for the right reasons, I told my wife I was just coming home," he said. "I missed out on 15 years with my children. They were born during my career at ESPN. My oldest is 17. I worked second shift for 15 years."

He has stayed in the limelight with the radio show, contributions to Sports Illustrated and his presence on the NFL studio show at NBC. He’ll also be on NBC’s Olympics coverage.

"I still have a good relations with ESPN," he said. "They use clips from my show all the time.

"I did make the right decision, because I made it for the right reason." [Emphasis mine]

So, on the one hand I think it's potentially a good thing when any parent in the public eye can add something to the conversation about work/family balance. It's interesting to see him honestly acknowledge the sacrifices that he made on the family side in order to achieve his level of career success.

At the same time, he did make choices, and based on his comments it seems like it took him until his children were almost grown to realize that he was missing out on their lives. I'm not saying that he should have quit earlier or worked in a different field or anything like that, because I don't really know the details and there's only so much you can judge from one quote in one interview. But it does highlight a struggle for balance that your average ESPN viewer probably never ever thought about when they watched Dan Patrick on SportsCenter late at night.

Of course, there's also an important reason why they might never think about Dan Patrick's work/family balance. Because he's a man. I think it's still considered a lot more acceptable by most people for a man to work "second shift" through his kids' entire childhoods in order to further his career than it would be for a woman. A woman with young kids working that kind of schedule would be wide open to accusations of 'bad mom!' If that wasn't the case, we might have a lot more women on ESPN and hey, maybe we could even get Cosmo to retire the 'women think sports are icky' stereotype for good.

Think Like a Stereotype, Act Like a Stereotype

Yeah, we're still writing about that August '09 issue of Cosmo. As you know, we bought it to keep us entertained on the plane to Chicago for BlogHer. (Because Daisy of Love can only distract us for so long).

When we flipped it open, we immediately noticed an article full of really sexist generalizations: Think Like a Lady, Act Like a Man (I know what you're thinking... sexist generalizations in Cosmo? Shocking). In it, Mina Azodi advises women to pretty much trade one totally offensive sexist stereotype for another totally offensive sexist stereotype. Yay, fun!

Think Like a Lady: Shit, I have a pimple, and it's ginormous. I hope my guy doesn't notice it.

Act Like a Man: Point it out to him and make a joke, like, "Look, I grew a third nipple. Sexy, huh?"

Generalize like Cosmo: Women are insecure and self-conscious about their looks. Men are immature and gross.

Think Like a Lady: I need to find my boyfriend a birthday present he'll love.

Act Like a Man: Remember the gift he really liked last year? Buy that, but in a different color.
Generalize like Cosmo: Women love to shop! (And talk about shopping.) And to make men happy. Men are thoughtless and unimaginative.

Think Like a Lady: I should brush up on current events so I'll have some convo starters for this cocktail party.

Act Like a Man: Memorize a few jokes from Dane Cook's new stand-up routine. Recite them whenever there's a lull in conversation.

Generalize like Cosmo: The only reason to be knowledgeable about current events is for cocktail party chit chat. Women are insecure and don't want anyone to find out that they're actually really stupid. Men don't care if everyone thinks they're stupid. Men think Dane Cook is actually funny.

Think Like a Lady: Time for my monthly Brazilian torture. Awesome.

Act Like a Man: Let it grow. Proudly give it a nickname, like your Lady Jungle.

Generalize like Cosmo: Women are obsessed with taming their lady parts - of course, so they can make their men happy. (If you're a real "lady" that obviously means you wax). Men don't care about personal grooming. (They clearly don't have any incentive to make blow jobs easier on their significant others).

Think Like a Lady: I'm not sure if my idea is any good, but maybe I will suggest it.

Act Like a Man: Interrupt whoever is talking and say you have the million-dollar solution.
Generalize like Cosmo: Women are insecure. Men are rude and conceited. There is no option in between these two extremes.

Think Like a Lady: If I get the large fries, I won't fit into my skinny jeans.

Act Like a Man: Supersize it and unbutton your stretch low-riders.
Generalize like Cosmo: Women are always dieting. Because they're insecure. Men are pigs. And possibly fat. (But it's okay, because they're men).

Think Like a Lady: I'll watch TV after I do laundry and about 10 other things that are on my to-do list.

Act Like a Man: Sit on couch. Death-grip remote. Scan HD channels for Vince Vaughn or soft porn.

Generalize like Cosmo: Only women take care of their responsibilities. Men are lazy and love porn.

Think Like a Lady: What crawled up the boss's ass today? I hope she isn't pissed at me.

Act Like a Man: Blame her bad mood on PMS, because it can't possibly be you.

Generalize like Cosmo: Women are insecure at work... except when they have PMS and then become crazy bitchy. That's why we should only let men be in positions of authority. (Also because all men think that women are hormonal, crazy, and/or bitchy, they'd never respect a female boss anyway.)

Think Like a Lady: Shut up! I don't really look good in that picture. My hair is all crazy.

Act Like a Man: Actually accept the damn compliment... and believe it.

Generalize like Cosmo: Women are insecure. Men are conceited.

Think Like a Lady: That girl is so much skinnier/prettier/smarter than I am.

Act Like a Man: Console yourself by rationalizing that your G-spot is probably bigger than hers.

Generalize like Cosmo: Women are still insecure. Men are obsessed with penis size.

Notice the recurring theme of women being constantly insecure about everything? And we thought Cosmo was supposed to be the magazine for "fun fearless females". I guess in order to be fun and fearless... we have to be less female?

August 5, 2009

Being a Bridesmaid Can Be Scary...

And now it's about time for our regularly scheduled August Halloween-planning freak out. Yes, we freak out this early! Why? Because - as you may already know - the Evil Slut Clique is obsessed with Halloween. So obsessed that we actually really truly do start planning our costumes over the summer. Don't judge us.

Unfortunately, the ESC is also totally broke. (If you want to do something about that, check this out, thanks). Some of our solutions to this dilemma are shopping for costumes off-season (you know, like in August), thinking outside the box, and saving everything that we might be able to be used in a costume. For example: Those seashells that you collected from your last trip to the beach? They can be used to jazz up any mermaid costume. (Please wash them first!)

One of our favorite items to use for Halloween costumes? Bridesmaid dresses! They can almost always be turned into something awesome (both the ugly ones and the cute ones!) One year we turned an especially cheesy 50's style dress into a zombie housewife costume... just by adding some pearls, an apron and scary makeup. (For some really awesome examples, check out these pics that we randomly found on Google). A zombie prom queen can be done almost as easily.

An even easier option: just cover yourself with fake blood and be Carrie. (As if it wasn't already easy enough, here's a quick how-to guide).

Glue can also go a long, long way... One year we managed to use two totally different bridesmaids dresses (from two totally different weddings) into a cohesive joint costume: Fire and Ice. (We added lots of glitter and snowflakes to the silver dress and some streaks and flames to the red dress... easy!) Did a mean mean bride make you wear green or brown? Add some fake leaves or flowers and suddenly you're Mother Nature or a woodland fairy. (Or really, any color dress of the right style would work as a fairy costume, with the right wings and accessories).

Any of these bridesmaid dresses could easily be made into fairy costumes

This year, the ESC is still unsure of what we're going to do... but we're thinking of being evil slutty beauty pageant contestants. We just have to see if we can find the perfect cheap bridesmaid dresses or prom dresses to wear.

And of course... we'll need some good ideas for evil slutty names! You know, like "Miss Understood" (although not that specifically, because there already is a real Miss Understood... but you get the idea). Maybe "Miss Demeanor" or "Miss Anthropy" or "Miss Stake" or "Miss Behave"... or pretty much anything else that kinda sounds like it could be the name of a drag queen or a roller derby team member.

Please send in your name suggestions or other ideas for reusing those gowns that brides always claim "you'll wear it again!" about. (Yeah, you'll wear it again, covered in blood). Thanks!