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September 15, 2009

Cosmo Quickie: Penis Jewelry

One thing that we've noticed in our extensive...analysis of Cosmo is that even though they're totally obsessed with talking about sex, there are some things that they refuse to mention. Like, they'll devote entire articles to explaining how to grab his ass or "The Sexy Ass Workout", but they refuse to acknowledge that there's such a thing as anal sex.

We also noticed that there have been several articles in Cosmo that have referenced "penis rings". At first, we thought that they were just in denial about the fact that they're actually called cock rings, like maybe that's just a word that's too naughty even for a "fun fearless female" to say. Then we decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and consider that maybe there's some obscure rule of magazine publishing that prevents them from printing the world, although even if there was, couldn't they just say "c**k ring" or something?

Anyway, we did a (very) little bit of investigating into this penis ring mystery. And it's possible that we're just wrong and misguided and living sheltered lives, because it turns out that there actually is such a thing as Penis Jewelry. You can get gold and silver penis chains, penis pendants, and penis leashes. And then there's our personal favorite, the scrotum shield. Who knew? Apparently Cosmo is way more hip and edgy than we give them credit for.

*Disclaimer: This lesson on penis jewelry was brought to you by blakelogan.com. In case you haven't figured this out already, following these links will bring you to a site with many photos of penises wearing jewelry, so you should definitely go and check it out...but probably not at work.

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