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September 5, 2009

Creepy Crush of the Month

According to Marie Claire magazine, September's "Crush of the Month" is... wait for it... widowers. Yeah, that's right... widowers. Of course, our first reaction was WTF? Then our next reaction was... still WTF? Honestly, there's not enough WTF to go around for this particular topic.

Now, we're generally okay with stuff that toes the line of inappropriate (that's kind of where we live) but this was too much even for us.

This month, as two grief-stricken leading men arrive in theaters (Love Happens' Aaron Eckhart and The Boys Are Back's Clive Owen), we highlight our favorite on-screen widowers -- before rushing over with a casserole.

Jude Law The Holiday (2006) When he calls himself "a mother and a father," we'd like to swap a lot more than houses with the walking English girl bait.

Kevin Costner Message in a Bottle (1999) A quipping, boat-building, dinner-cooking, love-letter-writing hermit who lives in the Outer Banks and looks like a younger Kevin Costner: Yum.

Ed Asner Up (2009) Grumpy digital rendering with big heart and improbable schnoz seeks travel companion who's not afraid of heights.

Tom Hanks Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Wearing khakis in need of a press, the mac (single) daddy had us burning through bushels of apples, trying to peel them in "one long curly strip".

Steve Carell Dan in Real Life (2007) Irrestible cliché jackpot: Newspaperman drives his daughters around coastal New England in an ancient station wagon.

Yep, those grief stricken men are HOT! Wow. As if women weren't already stereotyped as desperate man-hunters... Now we're so obsessed with catching a guy that being a widower is a turn-on. And we'll totally exploit any of his weaknesses so we can move in on him, like Janice from The Sopranos or something. Ick.

Now we're just waiting for Cosmo to catch on to this hot new "trend" and take the idea to a ridiculous extreme (like it does with everything). So be on the lookout "Funerals: The Hot New Place To Meet Men!" in the next issue.

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