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September 29, 2009

I'm lucky my daughter is still alive!

It's been a long time since Lil' Lilith was a baby... so I haven't really thought about baby proofing in a while. We're thinking of finally getting a puppy this year, so I was searching for gates for doorways and stairs and accidentally came across a site with baby gates instead.

It's really the same function (and those are much cuter!) so I gave the site a quick browse to see if there was anything else that crossed from child safety tips over to my personal puppy protection program. And wow was I in for a surprise! I didn't realize how many safety precautions really need to be taken nowadays to protect little kiddies. In fact, it's apparently a miracle that Lil' Lilith survived infancy at all.

Did you know that baby proofing goes beyond just outlet covers and baby gates? Apparently I should've had child safety locks on not just the cabinets and drawers, but also on the windows, toilet, the stove, the washer/dryer, and all other major appliances.

Did you know they actually have something called a "TV guard" that stops kids from pushing the buttons on the television? That seems like it could come in handy whether you have kids or not. Baby monitors now come in video. And you can get a "key finder" for your kid! It's called a Toddler Tracker. (No joke, it's a real thing - and it's friggin cute.)

Giggle Bug Toddler Tracker (from KidSafe)

And then of course, there's all the super cute stuff that not only keeps the kids safer, but just makes parenting a little more fun... like Snazzy Baby Knee Pads, Tub Time bumpers or Tubbly Bubbly bathtub spout covers. Too cute!!

I'm really upset at all of my so-called-friends who never got me anything as cool as that stuff, not even a portable night light when I was pregnant with Lil' Lilith. I feel seriously gypped. You all suck. You're lucky my daughter is still alive. If I ever have another kid you are totally not invited to my baby shower.

Photos, links, and the cause of my kind-of-sort-of-wanting-to-have-another-baby feelings, all courtesy of Kidsafeinc.com. (Please God, let those feelings pass... quickly!)


Anonymous said...

I'm kind of confused by this post. Are we supposed to assume that anyone who would use these things is an idiot? My neighbor bought the window locks after her toddler fell out the 2nd story window (he was fine, fortunately). I have worked hard to teach my kid to stop opening the oven when I'm cooking, but the lock on it makes sure she is not successful when she still tries. Make fun of the silly stuff, like knee pads, sure. But just because your kid survived everything doesn't mean every kid has.


What makes you think that we're suggesting that people are dumb to buy this stuff? I think the guests at my baby shower were dumb - and horrible friends - for not buying me these items. I am lucky my kid didn't climb into the oven or drown in the toilet.

And I was totally serious about the snazzy baby knee pads. Those things are fucking awesome.