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June 27, 2010

One Million Moms: Still Against The Secret Life of the American Teenager

cannot believe that the One Million Moms are still protesting against The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Have they even seen the show!? My god, it's the most preachy, anti-sex show I've seen in years. It's so preachy, it's almost a PSA or After-School Special. Nothing could send the message of abstinence to teenagers more than by making them watch this show.

I'm really beginning to think that the One Million Moms are against the show primarily because the show actually acknowledges that a) sex exists and b) sometimes teenagers are having it. Other than that though, you'd think this would be their most favorite show in the world. That's why it's so confusing to me when they continuously send out action alerts against the show...

Their most recent complaint is that the show "supports abortion". From the action alert:
Most recent episodes included:

• the discussion of teen pregnancy and motherhood
• s*x and oral s*x (* used to bypass internet filters)
• divorced parents living together
• Adrian, who makes one night stands a hobby of hers, finds out she is pregnant
• she plans on having an abortion to, in her own words, "take care of it"
• teen mom has gone from learning her lesson to parents aware she is on "the pill" and is ok with it
There are a handful of friends and future grandparents attempting to talk Adrian out of the abortion. This type of drama is not the type of entertainment parents want for their children. ABC Family thinks otherwise. S*x, abortion and birth control are exactly what this network is exposing your children to.
So what exactly is so bad about this show? The mere discussion of teen pregnancy and motherhood. Shouldn't we be discussing teen pregnancy and motherhood with our children... so we can prevent it? Why is it unacceptable for these topics to be addressed at all, even if it's done in a really preachy obnoxious way that you'd think they would like.

The existence of sex and oral sex is also unacceptable. Oh we mean s*x. We think it's funny that they now explain why they do the "s*x" thing. (Clearly they've been reading our blog.) 

Divorced parents living together. I'm not sure what their beef with that part is... I know the OMM are against divorce, but the fact that they are living together and trying to make it work and considering getting married again has got to be better (in their minds) than the parents just splitting up, period. I mean, if they really care about the sanctity of marriage, you think they'd want divorced parents to get back together.

And then there's Adrian. Poor slutty Adrian. Adrian has been the "what not to do" example ever since the first season... she's the one with no morals, the only one on that show who doesn't think sex is something shameful... I'm actually surprised it took them this long to "punish" her with something like an unplanned pregnancy.

Of course, she's considering abortion. She's the horrible slutty character with no morals. But does that really mean the show is supporting abortion? Of course not. When Amy was considering "taking care of it" the whole friggin town came down to the clinic to talk her out of it. Why should we believe that the Adrian-abortion situation will be handled any differently? If she doesn't have an abortion, it will be because she learned the error of her ways. If she does have an abortion, it will surely ruin her life forever. I mean, isn't that obviously the way a show this preachy would handle it? (My money is on the last minute surprise miscarriage a day before her appointment at the clinic, TV shows love that convenient twist.)

Honestly, I think the OMM are just upset that Secret Life even acknowledges that abortion exists. However, they don't actually really portray it as a possible option. It's this horrible thing that teenage girls would like to use to "take care of" their unplanned pregnancies, but obviously can't because it's so horrible.

And they don't promote sex either. That complaint is so annoying. Admitting the existence of sex is not the same as promoting sex. In fact, the show is so anti-sex it's disgusting. On Secret Life, characters who have sex are almost always instantly punished. Let's recap some of the horrible consequences sex has brought them:
  • Amy has sex for the first time. Consequence: Pregnancy.
  • Amy's married father has sex with Adrian's mom. Consequence: Divorce.
  • Amy's mother has sex with her new boyfriend for the first time. Consequence: Pregnancy.
  • Jack has sex with Adrian. Consequence: Grace breaks up with him.
  • Grace has sex for the first time. Consequence: Her father dies!
  • Amy's date finds a condom in her purse. Consequence: He never calls her. (You don't even have to have sex to suffer consequences... someone just has to make the assumption that you might possibly have sex sometime in the future.)
  • Adrian and Ben have sex. Consequence: Pregnancy. Another fucking pregnancy!
Basically sex = ruin your life! I'm surprised they're still harping on the Secret Life after all this time. They just stick to their favorites. You'd think they would want to move on to something new at this point. (You'd think they'd be all over that new show Pretty Little Liars, but they just ignored it.) Going back to the same shows over and over just highlights the fact that they've had no success in hurting the show in any way. 
Parents please consider making this program "off limits" in your home. If you're child finds a way to continue watching it despite your disapproval or had the unavoidable discussion with classmates, consider using this as an opportunity and a springboard for a discussion. If you were not aware of the topics on this show; now you have the information needed as a parent.
Yep. "If you're child finds a way..." I'm more concerned with whether my child is going to find a way to learn proper grammar than I am with whether she's going to watch a preachy melodramatic TV show.


Dire Sloth said...

Wanted to unlurk for a second here to tell you guys that I love every single article you've written on the OMM and other Moral Guardians. Please do more! 8D

Rehctaw said...

It's VITAL that OMM fight on against the concerted efforts to destroy their way of life, because the un-medicated life is simply not worth living!

Joining the ranks of D.A.R.E. and M.A.D.D. and C.O.N.G.R.E.S.S. to keep our youth sophisticatedly clueless. Able to chant mantras of sloganistic platitutes absolutely untethered to reality.

They scoff at your feeble attempts to interject reality into their purely fictional drug-addled existence.

Keep it up. Their Barney Fife-like "Nip it in the bud" approaches aren't going anywhere soon. So the need for ESC has never been greater.

mandy who hasn't actually launched her blog yet said...

I officially love you. Not in a weird internet stalker way. This is the first time I've been here. I'm just saying great post! I made this all weird. I'm going to go read more now.

Anonymous said...

i just read that Bristol Palin is guest starring on Secret Life this summer. I imagine this will cause the heads of OMM to explode.

Megs said...

They DO read your blog! You mentioned Pretty Little Liars, and now they're going for it: http://www.onemillionmoms.com/currentissue.asp

My favorite part: "Later her boyfriend turns her down when she wants to sleep with him because she seems desperate by throwing herself at him. She steals his car and wrecks it to get even. She is also bulimic."

Throwing the bulimic part in to pad the slutty crimes of a particular character - honestly, it parodies itself.

Lilith said...

We're on it. :-)

The One Million Moms have been reading our blog