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October 30, 2010

Sexy Halloween Costumes That Aren't

Sexy Halloween costumes are nothing new, but if you've shopped for a costume in the last few years you might have noticed that the "sexy _____" costume trend has really gotten out of control. We collected some pictures of the worst offenders that we saw this year. Some don't make any sense to us, and some are things that just shouldn't be made sexy.

(All of the costume pictures in this post are from Yandy.com, but they're certainly not the only offenders.  You can find costumes like these on lots of different stores and sites.)

Probably the most disturbing ones to me are the sexy versions of children's characters.  Can't we all agree to draw the line at sexy schoolgirl and not try to take it to the next level with sexed up Sesame Street and Disney characters?

Sexy Cookie Monster and Sexy Big Bird

Sexy Nemo

Sexy SpongeBob (aka SpongeBabe SquareSkirt)

Sexy Care Bear

Then there are those costumes that take the most unsexy characters possible and attempt to make them sexy for no apparent reason, as if there's a shortage of actually sexy costume ideas to choose from.

Sexy Tin Man Woman

Sexy Mrs. Potato Head

Sexy Pinocchio

Sexy Optimus Prime

Of course there are always those costumes that demonstrate a heightened sense of cultural sensitivity.

Sexy Chinese Take Out costume and Sexy Indian Warrior

And then there are those costumes that just make you ask 'why?!' because they're that random.

Sexy Scrabble Board

Sexy Shower

Sexy Straightjacket Costume

But I think that this next costume has got to be my personal favorite.

Sexy George Washington

Sexy. George. Washington.  This costume is so random and ridiculous and bizarre and wrong that I think it turns a corner and becomes kind of amazing.  But I do think it would work better as a group costume, so next year I'm going to see if I can get a group of friends together to go as Sexy Founding Fathers.  I know, it's an awesome idea and you wish you'd thought of it first, but we call dibs so don't steal it.  Happy Halloween!

October 28, 2010

Juan Williams and Muslims and Bears, Oh My!

In case you haven't heard yet about Juan Williams being fired from NPR, here's a quick summary of what happened: Bill O'Reilly went on The View and spouted some ignorant, bigoted bullshit about how "Muslims killed us" on 9/11. Juan Williams went on O'Reilly's show The O'Reilly Factor and said:
I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous. [full transcript]
And then NPR fired him. NPR CEO Vivian Schiller said that his firing was the result of a "series of deeply troubling incidents over several years."
He was explicitly and repeatedly asked to respect NPR's standards and to avoid expressing strong personal opinions on controversial subjects in public settings, as that is inconsistent with his role as an NPR news analyst. After this latest incident, we felt compelled to act. [mediaite.com]
I just flipped past Fox News a little while ago and they're still talking about this story. (Good thing there's no other news going on in the world.) Not only has Williams not apologized for what he said, but he's certainly milking the situation to his benefit by playing the martyr. It's really kind of ridiculous. Not only was what he said offensive (and wrong) but apparently he has a history of crossing the line on controversial topics, something that was specifically prohibited by his contract as a news analyst... At this point I think he just should just own up to the fact that news analyst (with its required impartiality) was the wrong job for him. And apparently he just signed a huge new deal with Fox, so it's not like 'Oh poor Juan, how will you feed your family now?' He should be happy that he no longer has to restrict himself from saying bigoted things on TV because Fox News clearly loves that kinda thing.

We're not going to give a full-on commentary here, because well, what is there really to say? But based on what we've been seeing other people say about it (on places like message boards, blog comments, and Facebook) it seems that a lot of people out there just aren't getting it. There have been a few recurring 'themes' in response to this issue and frankly, it's frustrating...

We've seen the "he was just being honest" argument, as if we should reward all honesty even when it is inappropriate and violates your contract.

We've seen the "this should've been a learning experience" argument, as if it's somehow NPR's responsibility to 'educate' Juan Williams while continuing to pay him a salary for violating his contract.

We've seen the "America is too politically correct" argument, which is often just code for 'I'm upset that it's not socially acceptable for me to say the N-word anymore'.

We've seen the misguided "freedom of speech" argument which just shows a clear ignorance of what our free speech rights actually entail.

We've seen the "but ____________ does the same thing all the time" argument (with Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and even Katie Couric used as examples) which fails to recognize the differences between their individual job titles and job requirements.

And of course, we've seen the "we should fear Muslims because Muslims killed us on 9/11" type of ignorant comments. (Those are the ones that piss us off the most.) But we've never seen that argument made exactly like this... so we're going to share one particular conversation that just kind of blew our minds a bit. Below are excerpts from an actual 'fight' I had on someone's Facebook wall. We hope you're as confused and outraged by it as we were.

Idiot: If I see a bear in the woods, I get nervous. It could be the greatest bear ever. But SOME bears have been known to attack randomly. A human reaction to a POSSIBLE reality. So fire me.

Evil Slut: It would be just as POSSIBLE that a non-Muslim would commit a terrorist act, do you fear ALL people? Do you get nervous everytime you see a human being on an airplane because of the possible reality? But wait... did you just compare Muslims to wild animals? And... fuck you.
Idiot's Friend: She did not compare Muslims to wild animals. She used an analogy.
Now, maybe I'm just a stickler because I'm a writer... but um, doesn't anyone know what an 'analogy' is!?

a·nal·o·gy (noun): 1. a similarity between like features of two things, on which a comparison may be based; 2. similarity or comparability [emphasis mine]
So she wasn't comparing them, she was just... comparing them. Okay!

Idiot: Thanks for clarifying that Muslims are not bears and telling me to fuck myself. I think you just disqualified yourself from all future intelligent discussions. Reactionaries resort to extremist aggressive behavior when threatened. (Like she just did getting angry, like some cultural groups that get violent.) To have an opinion you must be able to comprehend the issue.
You know what that means right? If you get a little mad at me because of the totally offensive thing I said, then you're no better than the terrorists!

Evil Slut: No, but a bear is a wild animal... its in their inherent nature to attack and it's a rational, reasonable fear to be nervous around them. Being nervous around Muslims on airplanes is not reasonable nor rational, nor is it in their nature to be violent. So the analogy makes no fucking sense. Unless you want to compare ALL people to bears. It's unreasonable and irrational to live in fear that ANY and ALL human being might possible kill you, but that is way more close to the actual reality than the 'Muslims might kill me' theory. Your comparing Muslims to wild animals deserves a 'fuck you'. In fact, I consider it to be extremist aggressive behavior, so um, yeah... fuck you.

Idiot: I compared irrational fear to irrational fear. And I DO NOT fear ANY human. We are all capable of harm. Some MORE so than others, as history documents. Is anyone handing out clues?

Evil Slut: Yes, who is handing out clues? Fear of a wild bear in the woods = RATIONAL fear. Fear of a random Muslim on a plane = IRRATIONAL fear. We are all capable of harm, some more than others... but there is no evidence to support the claim that Muslims are more capable of harm than non-Muslims. Prove that.

Idiot's Friend: She's not saying Muslims are more capable of harm than non-Muslims...the only thing is a Muslim in Muslim garb stands out. I basically look at all people with the same suspicion, when something stands out about one in particular, I tend to focus on it, rationally or irrationally. And guess what, I bet the people on the planes that went down on 9/11 had no nervousness about the "Muslims" on their planes.
Ah, the whole 'if someone looks different than me, I should be suspicious of them' stance. Is she suspicoius of people with unusual haircuts? Is she suspicious of people with physical deformities? Is she suspicious of people who dress like Lady Gaga? (She certainly stands out.) Sorry, but if you're suspicious of Muslims because 'Muslim garb stands out' then... that makes you a bigot.

Evil Slut: I believe she is saying that Muslims are more capable of harm than others. "We are all capable of harm. Some MORE so than others, as history documents." What 'more' is she referring to? If she's not suggesting that Muslims are more capable of harm than non-Muslims, then why use the stupid bear metaphor to defend the irrational fear of Muslims? I've seen and experienced so much crime and violence at the hands of white Christian men... but I would never say "gee, when I see a white guy with a cross I get a little nervous because he's really putting it out there there he's first and foremost a Christian". Some Muslims may be more easily identifiable by the way they dress (although tell that to all the Sikh Indians who were attacked after 9/11) but it doesn't mean they are more likely to commit an act of violence. Most likely if someone really was going to try to commit a terrorist act they would dress in a way so as to NOT stand out... so the argument makes even less sense and then it just amounts to racial profiling.

October 22, 2010


While we were in Las Vegas last week we had the opportunity to see the Cirque du Soleil show Zumanity at the New York New York Hotel & Casino. There are a lot of Cirque shows to choose from in Vegas, but Zumanity is described as "the sensual side of Cirque du Soleil" and "a sexy thrill ride full of sensational acrobatics and naughty fun", so we figured that one was perfect for the ESC. We definitely weren't disappointed - the show was funny, sexy, and entertaining - so we thought we'd give you a taste of what it was like.

What We Liked

~Our hostess (excuse me, Mistress of Sensuality) for the evening was a fabulous drag queen, so we knew we were in good hands right from the beginning.

~There's no shortage of chances to see half-naked women in Vegas, and we're not complaining about that, but it was nice to see a show with some equal opportunity skin-baring going on.

~There was a great mix of different styles of dancing, from ballet to African dance, plus all of the acrobatics and gymnastics and stunts that you'd expect from Cirque du Soleil, only sexier.

~The contortionist was really impressive, even if his contorting did totally freak us out.

~We learned how to make some gorgeous and functional fake boobs with the simple use of booze, plastic bags, and duct tape.

~There was some really fun audience participation, from the guy who assisted with the boozy boob demo to the woman in her late 60s who got up on stage (and up on some of the male dancers) to the adorable couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

~The Waterbowl routine was amazing - apparently just balancing and posing on a tiny little surface isn't cool enough, so they decided to up the ante by doing it while soaking wet. As our hostess said at one point in the evening, you won't get this at Donny & Marie.

What We Didn't Like

~There were a few points in the show where we felt like they went a little overboard with the lighting effects. (In particular when they flashed the house lights, not just the lights on the stage.) Maybe it was just where we were sitting, but it's hard to enjoy what's happening on stage with bright lights shining right into your eyes. Not a huge deal but mildly annoying.

~It was just our luck that we ended up sitting behind That Guy. You know, the guy who thinks that the enjoyment of everyone around him will be greatly enhanced by his loud commentary on everything that's going on. There was one scene where two guys do this fight/dance routine in a cage. They start out fighting over a woman but by the end of it they've decided that they're more into each other. They kiss, and then That Guy morphs into That Homophobic Guy and yells out "not cool!" At that point we finally had to tell him to shut up. I mean, really? First of all, shut up and keep your homophobia to yourself. Second, we didn't hear you saying it wasn't cool when it was two half-naked women who were all over each other. Third, you're in Vegas. There are plenty of places to see a show that features naked women only if you're going to be so horribly traumatized by seeing two men kiss. Fourth, have we mentioned shut up yet?

~This show has kinda ruined certain sexy archetypes for us for awhile. For example, if we see any women dressed as sexy schoolgirls on Halloween this year, we're not going to be impressed at all unless they can also twirl a dozen hula hoops around their bodies while hanging from a tiny strap in mid-air.

~We wanted more! We totally weren't ready for the show to end when it was over.

Okay, yeah, so you might have noticed that those last two "didn't likes" aren't actually bad and are really just positives masquerading as negatives. We had to balance out this side of the list a little bit!

Overall we really enjoyed the show, and of course we loved the message that sexuality is a beautiful and natural thing that should be celebrated. (Cheesy but true.) We would definitely see it again the next time we're in Vegas.

Disclosure: We received free tickets to see Zumanity. This had no bearing on the content of the review and our opinions are our own. Honestly, we would've paid full price... it was that good.

October 14, 2010

The Sluts are at the Slots

Yes, we know we've been neglecting Evil Slutopia this week. We were preparing for our trip to VEGAS for the BlogWorld Expo and now that we're here, we've just been way too busy at the conference drinking and gambling to blog much yet.

We'll try to live blog some of the most informative sessions this weekend... oh... who are we kidding? We'lll be lucky if we can pull ourselves away from the slot machines long enough to even go to one of the sessions. We have to keep reminding ourselves that this is a business trip and not just a Vegas vacation!

October 5, 2010

Wookie Monster

We're so happy to introduce our newest guest blogger, Dinah.

Dinah was a daughter of Jacob who sold her into marriage with a Canaanite prince. Her brothers claimed the prince had defiled her and killed every man in the city, including Dinah's new husband. There was even debate amongst the brothers and Dinah's father about whether or not Dinah should be put out as a harlot. No one ever asked if Dinah was really raped, she was just an excuse to pillage a city and was still blamed for being a whore simply because she was there and a woman.

Our Dinah is a US Marine, a published author and has a B.A. in Political Science. She is active duty so she's probably not really supposed to be writing something like this, but we're glad she is! We know there must be other military women reading our blog who can relate to her and non-military women will appreciate her perspective of a woman in a "man's world".

Since the ladies of Evil Slutopia decided to reclaim the word “slut,” I feel inspired to reclaim “Wookie Monster.”

What is a “Wookie Monster,” you ask? Wookie Monster is my favorite variation on the acronym “WM”- Woman Marine. Also popular is “Walking Mattress,” because everyone knows females Marines are sluts.

The image of a Wookie Monster is fabulous: big, hairy, grunting and growling and good with a gun. I am neither big nor hairy, though I do growl when angered and am very good with a gun.

“Wookie Monster” is a term of derision for female Marines, though very few have the testicular fortitude to say it to a woman’s face. Even Han Solo knows you don’t want to piss off a Wookie.

In fact, very few ignorant a-holes use this term in any situation that is not playful mockery.

On that note, you should also know that Marines abuse each other. It’s a sign of affection, really. Verbal, physical and emotional abuse tells us we’re loved. If you see a bunch of Marines having a good time, they’re probably making fun of and/or hitting each other.

But then there’s that one jerk, or sometimes a whole group of jerks, who really means it when he says “Wookie.” This person really does believe that all females in the Marine Corps are big, hairy and promiscuous.

As the ladies of this blog have pointed out, it’s not just men who jump on the slutshaming bandwagon. It’s very often other women who hate on their own kind.

“You don’t look like other woman Marines!” exclaimed the wide-eyed wife of an infantry Marine I had the displeasure of meeting recently. 1. “Woman Marine” is outdated. Catch up, sister. 2. Did you mean any other female Marine you know?  I’m pretty certain Marines come from all backgrounds and walks of life, and there are thousands of females in the Corps. Have you seen pictures of all of them? And I really don’t look like ANY other female in the Corps? Wow, I’m special!

“What does a female Marine look like?” I shot back with the special belligerence all Marines learn in boot camp.

The woman faltered a little, probably realizing just how insulting that statement was. “Well … I know this one and she has the short hair and is a lesbian.”

That’s my favorite. You know one female Marine and suddenly you know them all. That is like me (all blonde hair blue eyed Western European-ness) approaching an African American woman and saying, “You don’t look anything like the other blacks!” Are you offended yet?

I did not realize when I signed the contract to enlist that I was supposed to have short hair and be a lesbian. My bad. I guess that means I’m not being a good Wookie.

This lovely lady also told me later, as she inserted herself into a conversation that did not include her, that I should be used to being called a “Wookie.” I wanted to know if she was used to being called a lazy bon-bon eating breeding machine, but I don’t think it’s fair to stereotype anyone, even Marine spouses. That and I’m pretty sure she would have cried.

So, I’m reclaiming what it means to be a Wookie. Turns out, I am hairy - I have long blonde hair that makes me basically in disguise whenever I take it out of its uptight bun. I am not huge, but I carry the same god awful heavy gear as the Marines who weigh 200 lbs. I have sex when I chose with whomever I chose, so I guess that makes me a slut, too. I growl when no other noise will sufficiently express my anger. (I can’t make that cool Wookie noise though.)

I am strong and beautiful and yes, a Marine. I refuse to believe being a Wookie is a bad thing. I have accomplished things as a Marine that would make a grown man cry and I can still pull off wearing a designer dress with the best of them.

It takes one hell of a strong woman to earn the title: Wookie Monster.

October 3, 2010

Getting Ready for Vegas

So we realized that our trip to Vegas is in less than two weeks now, so it's time for us to start procrastinating and start planning. We've never been there before so we're doing some research and collecting tips from people that we know who have been there.

A lot of our time is going to be spent attending the BlogWorldExpo conference. We're excited about that, of course, but we also want to make sure we make the most of our free time. The conference is at Mandalay Bay this year, so we'll probably spend a lot of time there and at the surrounding hotels and casinos. We're not really big gamblers, but...it's Vegas! We've got to do some gambling.

Basically we want to make sure we have two things - the 'only in Vegas' experiences and our usual 'only the ESC' experiences. Sometimes we can combine the two. Like, we wanted to see a Cirque du Soleil show, so we decided to go with Zumanity, which is described as "the sensual side of Cirque du Soleil" and "part burlesque and part cabaret". We also want to check out the Las Vegas area gay scene. Even though we're not gay, we feel like we can usually find 'our people' there. It's a strategy that usually works for us in New York City and always works at BlogHer - the coolest people are always at the Queerosphere - so we're going to stick with it in Vegas too. We found a site that has a lot of tips and info for gay travel, which has been helpful in planning for a scene that we're not familiar with. Our list of stuff to maybe do also includes a strip club and an all-you-can-eat buffet, because...well, we're us.

So who has some Vegas tips for us? We're up for almost anything, so tell us where to go, where to eat and drink, and what we should see and do.