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March 17, 2011

Holidays are always better with candy

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! 
(Or as we like to call it here at the ESC, 'Happy Get Drunk Day!')

I'm not really a huge fan of St. Patrick's Day festivities... I'm a fan of drinking, in moderation, but frankly, in New York everyone not only overdoes it, but they start way too early. On my commute into work today there were at least 20 drunk idiots making lots of noise on the train. At 9 am! What were you drinking in the shower this morning?

It seems like no one actually cares about (or even knows) who St. Patrick really was... today has become just an excuse to drink excessively or watch a parade. And okay, yes, I do plan on cutting out of work for an extra long lunch today to catch part of the parade, but that's more about taking any excuse to cut out of work early for an extra long lunch and less about the actual parade.

But I think more than anything, the reason why I'm not a huge fan of St. Patrick's day is about the candy. There just isn't enough! Sure plenty of people can figure out a way to incorporate candy into St. Patrick's Day ('pot of gold' comes to mind) but really, it's not a candy-oriented holiday so much as some of the other holidays. So I really just consider St. Patrick's day as just my marker for the time when everyone really starts selling their Easter candy!

Because I'm all about the candy. Frankly, I'm not really interested in a holiday unless there's candy involved (which is why I totally give props to everyone who manages to scam themselves some chocolate four-leaf clovers on St. Pat's). There are no other gifts as good as chocolate gifts. That's why I far favor Easter, Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's Day over St. Patrick's Day any day. And yes, those holidays are ranked in order of candy awesomeness, which I will explain further...

Valentine's Day is maybe my least favorite candy-oriented holiday. (Not my least favorite holiday, period, which is probably a tie between Thanksgiving and Columbus Day, but just my least favorite candy-holiday or 'candiday'.) Sure the whole roses-and-chocolates cliche is beneficial to someone with a sweet tooth such as my own, but when you're single (but don't want to be) on Valentine's Day there is nothing sadder than buying a heart-shaped box of chocolate for yourself. Also, while it's always nice to get a box of chocolates, no matter what shape the box is, but Valentine's Day is just such a messed up holiday in and of itself that the chocolate aspect isn't enough to make it better. Plus those little conversation hearts always taste like chalk.

Next on the list, is Christmas. Christmas is a candy extravaganza. You can get candy under the tree, in the stocking, or just handed to you. Stumped for what to buy your loved ones... sweet gifts are always the best gifts. Plus you get other presents and lots of other fatty desserts, like cookies, cake, pie, mmmmmm. It's a chocoholic's wonderland. (Just to be fair, I'll give props to Hanukah too... but sorry, those Hanukah gelt just don't top an entire chocolate Santa.)

Next up is on my 'candiday' rankings is Halloween... You get to dress up and strangers just give you all the candy you want. And all kinds of candy! In terms of accumulating a massive amount of candy Halloween is the best. But I still prefer Easter for two very important reasons:

One, unlike Halloween, where you have to work for that candy, walking from house to house and ringing doorbells and saying 'trick or treat', on Easter the candy comes to you! All you have to do is wake up in the morning and go downstairs and find your basket... easiest candy score ever!

Two, the candy is just better on Easter. Marshmallow peeps are insane. That Cadbury Cream Egg - as disgusting as it looks - is just amazing. It's just all good. I don't know what it is... but even every day candy somehow tastes better in Easter shapes. A chocolate bunny will always be far superior to a chocolate... anything else. Jelly beans are sweet, but nothing is sweeter than popping open a plastic egg full of jelly beans. And everything tastes better in pastel colors.

There's just something about a chocolate bunny that gets me every time.

I don't go to church on Easter... I don't really do much else to celebrate. Even though my family was half-Jewish growing up, we still did Easter... for the candy. I have very vivid memories of being a kid and creeping down the stairs on Easter morning, catching a glimpse of that basket and just going crazy. There would be plastic neon grass all over the floor as I attacked that basket and unearthed it's yummy goodness. No matter how slick I thought I was, somehow my dad always seemed to get to my chocolate bunny before I did and ate the ears. Clearly this sweet tooth runs in the family.

Now even as an adult I still get excited about Easter. I take pleasure in filling up a basket of love for my kids. To save them the anguish my dad always caused me, I always always buy an extra chocolate bunny just for me. So happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! And more importantly, have a very happy start to the Easter-candy season!

1 comment:

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

hmm.. I don't know if it's a U.S. v Canada cultural thing, but growing up Easter was still work, because the "Easter Bunny" HID all the candy around the house, so your basket would be empty upon waking, and you'd spend a good portion of the morning looking in inane places for chocolate and other sweet stuff.

So I guess for me, Halloween owns over Easter because they're both work for candy, but Easter required me to dress up (in the lame, formal, cutesy-frilly way) whereas Halloween allowed me to dress up (in the awesome, scary, gory way)