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July 20, 2011

The AFA Forces Us to Defend Michele Bachmann

We would never ever vote for Michele Bachmann or support her in any way. We oppose pretty much everything that she stands for. (And our fellow True Blood fans know that we suspect her of being an evil maenad.) That being said, leave it to Bryan Fischer of the American Family Assocation to present an argument against Bachmann that even we can't agree with.

Bachmann migraines would be a gamechanger, make Perry run inevitable

A sensational Daily Caller story this morning by Jonathan Strong quotes three anonymous sources to the effect that Michele Bachmann suffers routinely from debilitating migraine headaches, which, according to one source, can “incapacitate” her on occasion for several days.

While the sources are anonymous, what is worrisome is that Ms. Bachmann’s spokeswoman Alice Stewart admitted that Ms. Bachmann “suffers from migraines” but says they are “under control with medicine.” She challenged the use of the word “incapacitating” but, according to Strong, “did not specify how the descriptions were wrong.”
So Bachmann's spokeswoman said that the migraines shouldn't be described as incapacitating and are under control with medicine, which somehow isn't enough to "specify" how the description of the migraines as incapacitating and not under control is wrong.

She understandably refused to discuss details of Bachmann’s hospital visits (“I’m not going to go into her medical history”), but neither did she deny that Bachmann has been hospitalized on occasion for treatment of this condition.
In other words, she wouldn't discuss details of Bachmann's medical history, which is "understandable" but also totally suspicious. Gotcha.

This story obviously must be read with a certain amount of caution, and verification is needed before conclusions can be drawn. However...
We should be cautious about this story based entirely on "anonymous sources" (that could very well have their own agendas here), but that wouldn't be any fun so let's get right to speculating instead!

...it must be said that should the content of Strong’s piece be verified, I do not see how a Bachmann candidacy can survive. We obviously must have a president and commander-in-chief in full and complete health, who is in constant command of his faculties, and who has no known risk of being temporarily unable to discharge the duties of office.
A president who is in constant command of his faculties. Am I alone in thinking that this word choice reveals another reason that Fischer wouldn't be too upset if Michele Bachmann's candidacy didn't survive?

All of which would make a Rick Perry candidacy both inevitable and necessary. Perry, Bachmann, and Herman Cain are the most enthusiastically popular potentials with Tea Partiers, but even fervent Tea Party supporters would be forced to concede it would not be a good idea to have a president who might be sidelined for periods of time virtually without warning.

What this would mean in the end is that the campaign would come down to Cain and Perry. Mitt Romney, despite his fundraising advantages, is obviously and patently unacceptable to social and small government conservatives. Neither Pawlenty nor Santorum nor Huntsman are likely to generate any traction, and Gingrich’s campaign was over virtually before it started.
Pawlenty, Santorum, and Huntsman are unlikely to generate traction, but Herman 'communities have the right to ban mosques' Cain totally can? Okay, let's pretend that we accept that he can do that. In that case, why is a Perry run so necessary?

It would be essentially necessary for Perry run if Bachmann’s health becomes an issue. If he doesn’t wade in to the pool, he’ll get drafted.

He has an enviable and unmatched record on jobs as governor of Texas. According to the Census Bureau, 907,000 of the 1.6 million jobs created in the last 10 years were created in Texas under his watch. With jobs and the economy the number one issue on people’s minds, this is virtually the only message Perry will need. With his unapologetic social conservatism, including unqualified support for the sanctity of life and natural marriage, Perry will make an appealing if not irresistible candidate for true conservatives.
Natural marriage? Is that what we're calling it now? I liked opposite marriage better.

Cain seems to have rediscovered his bold and unwavering voice in recent days, after a few weeks of uncertainty and clumsy footwork, and could make Perry earn the nomination down the stretch. The iron-sharpening-iron dynamic between the two would help conservatives to make their choice and prove the mettle of the eventual winner. From here, that winner looks a lot like Gov. Rick Perry.
So Herman Cain is a great candidate, which means that Rick Perry has to run because Cain is black for some reason. It's not Bryan Fischer's fault that the best candidate in this scenario is obviously not the woman or the black man but the white man who has not even announced that he's actually running. I think this all makes perfect sense, but don't go by me, because I'm a woman who sometimes gets migraines so obviously I can't be trusted.


Anonymous said...

This is a non-story which has already decreased Pawlenty's slim chances, since his staffers were behind the leaks.

Kari said...

I love how they say "Natural Marriage," because, you know, marriage wasn't a human created thing or unnatural in the slightest...

Jezebel said...

Kari - I know, and I'd love to know how they come up with this stuff. Maybe some right-wing focus group decided that natural marriage sounded better than traditional marriage.