Some parts of this blog may contain adult-oriented material. (It is NOT porn or erotica, but some of the content is inappropriate for children). If you are under your country's legal age to view such material or find it to be "objectionable", please leave this page now. Reader discretion is advised...but if you couldn't infer from the title that this may be an adult-oriented blog, then you shouldn't be on the Internet at all.

Everything on the Evil Slutopia blog is copyrighted by the E.S.C. and ESC Forever Media and may not be used without credit to the authors. But feel free to link to us as much as you want! For other legal information, disclaimers and FAQs visit ESCForeverMedia.com.

October 29, 2011

2nd Annual Sexy Halloween Costumes That Aren't

Sexy Halloween costumes are nothing new, but if you've shopped for a costume in the last few years you might have noticed that the "sexy _____" costume trend has really gotten out of control. Last year we collected some pictures of the worst offenders. This year we found even more, so we decided to make this a holiday tradition. Some don't make any sense to us, and some are things that just shouldn't be made sexy.

(All of the costume pictures in this post are from Yandy.com, but they're certainly not the only offenders.  You can find costumes like these on lots of different stores and sites.)

Like we said last year, probably the most disturbing ones are the sexy versions of children's characters, like Sexy Big Bird and Sexy Cookie Monster. Can't we all agree to draw the line at sexy schoolgirl and not try to take it to the next level with sexed up Sesame Street and Disney characters? Here are a few more that we found this year...

 "Adult Minnie Mouse" and "Flirty Mouse Club"

Sexy Jem, Princess Peach and "Wizard Hottie"

Sexy Marvin the Martian, Musketeer Puss In Boots and "The Cat Is Back"

The only way to make it even creepier is to sex-up a character that isn't just for kids but is actually a kid herself... Who is the disturbed individual who decided to create a sexy version of Little Orphan Annie?

Another odd theme we noticed this year was sexy food. We never thought they'd find a way to make that sexy, but they sure tried...
Sexy Banana, Sexy Watermelon and "Sequin Pineapple"

 Fruit Cup and Heinz Mustard

Dirty Martini, BeerMug and "Tap That Keg"

Sexy Bubble Gum and Gumball Machine!

Yes, that's a gumball machine costume. This year sexy inanimate objects seem to be very popular!

Pool Table Dress, Beer Pong Babe and Sexy Operation Game

Those symbols at the bottom of the Operation costume say "Love Handles" and "Thunder Thighs". Classy!

Glam Rock Guitar, Platinum Credit Card and "She's Dynamite"

Sketchy Sally, Arcade Cutie and Screaming Green Crayon

And then of course there are always those costumes that demonstrate a heightened sense of cultural sensitivity.

"Tokyo Treasure", "Tribal Vibe" and Deluxe Eskimo

The only "vibe" we're picking up here is the "these costumes are offensive" vibe.

 Sexy Gypsy and "Bolly Ho"

How do you feel about inter-species relationships? There sure seem to be a lot of "sexy" animals...

"Stinkin' Cute Skunk", Sexy Shark and Sexy Sea Turtle

Deluxe Unicorn and Rudolph the Sexiest Reindeer

A sexy Rudolph Halloween costume? Mixing holidays and disturbing everyone in the process!

There is also a lot of sexy gender-bending going on on the Yandy website. Not that we have anything against gender non-conformity, but some of these sexy female versions of famous male characters are just ridiculous. (And some are so ridiculous that they're almost kind of awesome. Almost.)

Miss Scissorhands, Sexy Freddie Krueger and Miss Leatherface

Deluxe Robin and "Robin Hottie"  

Sexy Rambo, Sexy Indiana Jones and Sexy Green Lantern

And then there are those costumes that just make you ask 'why?!' because they're that random. We found a lot of these this year...

"The Sushi's On Me" and "Slippery When Wet"

It's the chopstick and traffic cone headpieces that really make these costumes as far as we're concerned.

MC Hamster and "Sexy Donatelo"

The real issue we have with this ninja turtle costume (aside from the fact that it is a male, non-human, children's character and is possibly the most low-budget costume we've ever seen for $25) is that it's not sexy at all. It's just a T-shirt but the name is actually "Sexy Donatelo". But this one is even better... what's sexier than Chewbacca!?

"Wood Chipper" and "Sci-Fi Furry"

(That beaver one just really leaves us speechless.)

But possibly the best of the worst...

Sexy Hulkamania Costume

Sexy Hulkamania! Yes, it's a female sexy Hulk Hogan, complete with mustache. This costume is so random and ridiculous and bizarre and wrong that I think it turns a corner and becomes kind of amazing. It's so wrong that it's right. It might even top last year's Sexy George Washington (maybe).

The Sexy Hulkamania is here! And it will haunt your dreams... Happy Halloween!