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September 19, 2012

Mitt Romney Attempts to Scare Women and Baby Girls Into Supporting Him

Following the smashing success of his "Break Up With President Obama" ad, Mitt Romney has a new ad out aimed at baby girls and the women voters who love them, and it's a real gem. Check it out:


Dear Daughter: Welcome to America. Your share of Obama's debt is over $50,000, and it grows every day. Obama's policies are making it harder on women. The poverty rate for women? The highest in 17 years. More women are unemployed under President Obama. More than five and a half million women can't find work. That's what Obama's policies have done for women. Welcome, daughter. 
First of all, the voiceover lady's tone makes it sound like she's talking to us about "feminine itching" or something, not the future of our country. And this ad reads like it was supposed to be a 60 second spot instead, with the second half featuring some hopeful sounding music playing over scenes of Mitt Romney personally marrying every single one of us to ensure our secure financial futures. Instead it's just one giant buzzkill about how all of the children of America are totally fucked because Barack Obama ruined everything. Inspiring!

There's not so much as a hint of any policy proposals or ideas or suggestions or even empty promises about what Mittens is going to do better for us, but perhaps they were afraid that including too much "information" in the ad would overload our ladybrains. So of course that leaves unanswered the question of why any woman would be better off economically in a Romney administration when you consider the fact that Mitt refuses to even take a position on the issue of equal pay for women or the Paycheck Fairness Act (and his running mate voted against the Ledbetter Act), and he wants to make it harder for women to access affordable contraception (which helps us plan our families or lack thereof better and is therefore a financially good thing for us) and health care services in general. I guess the 'bad things will happen to babies and you don't want that, do you ladies?' message is supposed to suffice.

Also, we need to come together and take a moment to discuss the extreme creepiness of the "I'm Mitt Romney and I approved this message" at the end. I've heard it before on his other ads and it's time to address it so that we can all begin to heal. It sounds to me like they did about 57 takes trying to get one where Mitt sounded presidential or at least somewhat human, and finally just gave up and settled for one where he sounds like Edward Cullen staring in your bedroom window all night because he just loves you that much.

So yeah, vote for Mitt Romney or babies will have to file for bankruptcy because of Barack Obama. Or something.


Epiphora said...

At least it's fitting that the only women he cares about are infants.

Anonymous said...

I get the worrying impression from this ad that the reason Romney can't say what he'd do to improve things is because his theory is that if women *aren't allowed* jobs, they won't count on the unemployment statistics.
(To Godwin myself: It worked for Hitler!)