Even though Evil Slutopia is VERY far from a "Mommy Blog", I am a mom and I've written about my daughter Lil' Lilith quite a bit on here... (She has even written the occasional guest blog!) But now she is officially a teenager - not even a "tween" anymore - and it's kind of hard to still call her "Lil' Lilith" when she's as tall as I am and we wear the same size clothing.
I was inspired by a blog post that Don't Speak Whinese tweeted today... "WTF Did You Say!? About Curse Words, You Tube and My Little Ponies" to reminisce about my daughter's good old cursing days. So even though she's as big as I am - and will probably be taller than me within a year - I thought I'd celebrate Throwback Thursday by sharing a few of my favorite inappropriate memories of her.
I believe her first "curse" word was "friggin" which isn't really even a curse, except for the fact that she was two. She looked out the window and told her grandfather to "look at that friggin' squirrel." (Turns out she had heard him complain to me so often about the squirrels that were stealing from his bird feeders that she thought that was the actual name of that specific animal:"Friggin' Squirrels".)
It was at that point I decided to just let her curse. I think curse words are just words and what really matters is the context. (Note: I don't confuse curse words with slurs which are never acceptable. Of course, I do believe in reclaiming language - like the word "slut" - but certain words aren't ours to reclaim. Just for the record.) I wanted her to understand that it isn't necessarily the curse words that are "bad" but just that there's a time and a place. I wanted her to know what the words were, what they meant, and when not to use them. For example, she couldn't say them at school, she wasn't allowed to teach them to her friends with less liberal parents, she wasn't allowed to say them to her great-grandmother, etc. But otherwise, they were fine.
We would pick one word at a time, I would explain it's meaning and usage, she would say it about a million times in a row and then the novelty would wear off and she rarely said it ever again. It was a pretty good system. When she learned the word "crap" she called up all of my friends and sang them "Crappy Birthday". (Jezebel can attest to this, I think she got one of those calls.)
In Pre-K, she came home from school and insisted that her teacher had said the word "shit" in class. She claimed that her teacher had said "David forgot his shit."
Lil' Lilith: She said Shit! She said "David forgot his shit"!My favorite potty-mouth memory though was one day she was in the backyard playing with two friends and I overheard them arguing over what the F-word was. One girl didn't know what it was and the other said she did but she wasn't allowed to say it.
Mama Lilith: Are you sure?
Lil' Lilith: Yes! She said that David forgot his "helper shit."
Mama Lilith: Wait, was today David's turn to be Class Helper?
Lil' Lilith: Yes! He forgot to help though!
Mama Lilith: Did she say "shift"? Helper shift?
Lil' Lilith: Oh... she might have said "shift". I know it started with "shhh".
Lil' Lilith: You can just whisper it to us, we won't tell anyone.Later she asked me...
Friend 1: But God will know.
Lil' Lilith: I'll just ask my mom later.
Lil' Lilith: What's the F-word? I think I know what it is but I'm not sure.
Mama Lilith: What do you think it is?
Lil' Lilith: FUCKING ASSHOLE.
I was actually impressed that she mastered a compound curse-word. I always told her that curses are not "bad words" they're just "grownup words" and since she wasn't a grownup she was only allowed to use grownup words with my permission. Now that she's practically a grownup (or at least looks like one) she still curses - although still not at school and not in front of her great-grandma - but but it's less cute than it used to be. (Lil' Lilith if you're reading this - sorry, but it's true, your cursing was cuter when you were little. But I still love ya.)